Cod Almighty | Diary

The Town Adidas away kits really were something else

13 January 2016

Wicklow Diary writes: Why stress about the contract status of one Irishman when you can fret over two? The sports section of the Telewag, unlike the rest of the organ, is still clinging to the principles of reporting stuff that is actually close to being relevant. I don't know – maybe putting some gobshite with a daft tattoo on the front page of your website is a genius tactic to make readers appreciate the other sections of the paper more.

Anyway, this morning we are reminded that James McKeown, who falls under the Jack Charlton definition of Irishman, is out of contract in the summer. Of course, one look at the CA contract tracker tells you he's not the only one. 

In defence of the club, I'll answer original/regular Diary's question from Monday. The short contracts and deal-with-in-the-summer approach worked quite well when we had a team of dross. It's only become a problem with the team of heroes-in-waiting that we have now. I suppose dressing room chemistry can be tricky at the best of times. You definitely don't need a lad sat in the corner grumbling to himself and others that so-and-so has got an extension offer and he hasn't.

For now we can only steer James, Podge and the rest clear of silly polls and hope to see them in Crofty's estate agents this summer... just not with the Scunny brochure. Why is GY never in the middle in these polls? We're either the best or worst. It's like our promotion/relegation record.

The main man Paul Hurst has let deputies Doig and Warrington do all the talking in the past week. I've heard several people speculate on the reason for this – I'm putting it down to him being busy making two hundred calls a day to find the next Amond or his creative midfielder equivalent. Must be murder. Like two of my least favourite things, job recruitment and clothes shopping, rolled into one.

The end of last week was full of speculation about Hurst and his job. We all care about Town to differing degrees but most of us can switch off for a bit each day. I don't know any managers personally but I wouldn't think they switch off very often. It's full-on. Lower-league management isn't the Hollywood movie of the Premier League. Mourinho, Rodgers et al have stress and pressure but there's also the happily-ever-after ending of a multi-million severance when it goes pear-shaped. The only headache will be structuring the tax on the payments efficiently.

When lower-league managers aren't making choices you agree with, it isn't out of stubbornness or malice. You may not want to hear this, but they have more at stake than you. If they get it wrong and lose their job, they could be signing on. Hurst is a talented manager but he's in a job full of uncertainty and absurdity. If it goes wrong his headaches could be calling Rotherham for a job with the youth team or the community set-up. Or contacting his old mucker Rob Scott for help to set up a LinkedIn profile. LinkedIn? That's the sign your career in football is probably over.

So if the reason for his silence is that Hurst has had enough of us rollercoaster headcases for the week, then fair dos. He must have had a wry chuckle at the chaos his rumoured departure caused. Might derail the season, his going to County, might it? Look on the bright side – you won't have to bug me about keepers on the bench. Or boo us team after a six-game winning streak. Or put up with us rubbish loan signings. Or grouse about me benching Amond, who you'd never heard of and is now the best you've had in 30 years.

Speaking of Podge, he reminded us of his only weakness last night on Twitter – ManUitis. Unfortunately, this horrible, untreatable condition afflicts people from Ireland just as much as it does in England. 

Obviously the relationship between Ireland and England has always been complicated. Things have improved politically in recent years but bitterness towards the English still exists. How else can you explain the cruelty of sending Mrs Brown's Boys to the BBC? Or those naff Paddy Power ads.

However, the relationship between the two countries is thrown into confusion and paradox by ManUitis. In 2010, Manchester United sent a team to Dublin to play a League of Ireland XI to mark the opening of the redeveloped Lansdowne Road. Podge himself should have been on the Irish selection, having scored regularly for Sligo Rovers that summer.

So a billion-pound English club fielding a team of millionaires comes to play an underdog team of Irish semi-pros and part-timers. Fan shitlarkery comes in many forms, but there is a special niche reserved for the 50,000 'Irish' fans who cheered Manchester United to a 7-1 win that day.

Devon Diary has previously featured Ben Mayhew's impressive analysis of Town and the Conference, and today the Telegraph has a nice interview with Ben. The figures don't lie either. Paul Hurst has built a team that is dominant at both ends of the pitch. As Ben says, it's the 'intangibles' that we need. One of those like luck perhaps? We've had our share of the bad variety and yesterday Cheltenham got the unfortunate news that their skipper Aaron Downes will miss the remainder of the season. More kudos to the Telegraph sports desk, by the way, for running a science and statistics piece without using the term 'boffin'.

Wayne Burnett and Paul Wilkinson – scorers of two of the most dramatic goals in the club's history – will team up in the 'Chairman's Challenge' at Blundell Park on 28 February. Put the obvious question about the title aside, and go and sign up. I played (well, I was on the pitch) a couple of years ago and it is just the best. The dressing rooms with your kit hanging on the peg, the moving team talk from manager Dave Boylen, standing in the tunnel alongside John McDermott. All that before you even kick a ball under those glorious floodlights. If you're an exile, make a weekend of it and take in the Southport game the day before. It may be a tough time of year to find an extra £250, but justify it by remembering it all goes to the youth set-up. And where are Brigg and Spalding going to get first-team players from if we don't have a youth set-up?

If you get a moment today take a look at this beautiful collection of Town kit. Devon Diary and I and a few others on Twitter have been helping the site to fill in the gaps – there's a missing third kit from '87-88 to be added but if you spot any others, let us or add a comment on the page.

The Trophy match between Wealdstone and Weston-Super-Mare is still on for this evening. Rather than moan about the postponements (have these people looked out of the window at the weather lately?), I'd like to say well done for finding an alternate venue at Paulton. Hopefully it will be settled tonight and we'll have a game on Saturday. If it doesn't, look upon it as a throwback to an era that many of us still pine for. One where cup matches caused fixture chaos by going to seventeen replays with neutral venues and coin tosses before being decided.