Cod Almighty | Diary

Not the Market Rasen earthquake

22 January 2016

Retro Diary writes: January is a funny old month, with managers scrabbling to strengthen squads before the window closes, at a time of year when I'm sure they feel like doing so least. A winger and "a different type" of striker are currently top of Hursty's wish list. This January, the managers have been on the merry-go-round too.

As noted here yesterday, Conor Townsend spent his first game with Scunny sitting on the bench in freezing conditions watching his team lose 5-0, and then seeing the manager who just signed him get the sack. There are the best two examples of the 'Peter Principle' you'll ever see, right there. Conor must be chuffed with his move. Doughnut.

The good bit is that thankfully we no longer have to listen to Mark Robins' dour Manc monotone on a Saturday on our way home from BP. Whoever the Iron employ next (we're still talking about Scunny by the way, not Braintree), let's hope it's someone whose interviews are less of an endurance test, and maybe has a sense of humour too. He'll need one.

Peter Swann has said that Scunthorpe have become a "very interesting prospect" for managers. Neil Warnock has said he would be interested in the vacant position "if I could have a helicopter to Cornwall". Why stop there, Neil? There's always France if you want to get further away from Scunthorpe.

The Notts County job finally went to Jamie Fullarton, a young applicant whose management CV is insubstantial to non-existent, although he has a bit of form as a coach. This unpredicted appointment makes you think that Hursty might have been closer to getting the job than we thought.

Fullarton, playing for Dundee United against Kilmarnock in 2000, suffered one of the most horrific football injuries I've ever known. Don't read about it if you're about to have your tea, would be my advice. All I'll say is that the club doctor had to twist his foot back through God knows how many degrees and hold it there from the pitch all the way to the hospital in order to save it, by which time it had turned black. Remarkably, Fullarton was playing again in just six months. Well done Notts County – any bloke that hard deserves at the very least an extended interview.  

On the whole, if I've judged it right, I would say that Town fans are generally glad that Hursty stayed. There is no doubt that he feels to us like one of the family now, his likeability having contributed, I'm sure, to Operation Promotion's success. I can't imagine Town fans in a million years raising £110,000 to give to Garry Hill.

But importantly, we feel like we've invested in his education, and after all the ups and downs we don't want someone else to reap the reward. We've been very patient with Hursty, and if he's honest with himself, he'll know that. He went wrong from the off by choosing a nutter to co-manage with him, but managed to survive a potential double sacking. Then, do we remember him making ten changes away at Dartford and losing 1-0? Do we remember the half a season playing 4-5-1 at home, with only old square-boots up front? Do we remember the days when he worried so much about the opposition's formations that we couldn't string two passes together ourselves? Do we remember the countless Parslow moments? (Other suicidal defensive substitutions are available.) And the routine removal of the mercurial Scott Neilson from the pitch for no apparent misdemeanour except, we suspect, cockiness?

Hurst went wrong from the off by choosing a nutter to co-manage with him, but managed to survive a potential double sacking

If only we could know, those decisions may well have cost us promotion more than once already. I even think that chucking a fresh Ross Hannah on during extra time at Wembley might have done it. Maybe it was too obvious, I don't know.

But Hursty is much better in all these respects now. Despite the odd episode of snippiness in the face of quite benign questioning, he seems to have found his own convoluted route to that place where good managers have always been. And the beauty is, now we've weathered his career's turbulent adolescence, we don't know where his upward trajectory will end. He is a fast-improving unknown quantity. It might be an idea to hang on to him until we find out whether he can turn any of this into actual achievement.

At least he won't go to the vacant Scunny job – unless he thinks that his reward should be demotion to oblivion. But hey, if they gave him a helicopter?

Tomorrow, Town, the classic proud-to-be-big small club, play Alty, the classic proud-to-be-small small club. The big-small thing means Town tend to be favourites in this fixture, but our recent meetings with our friends from the J Davidson Scrap Stadium haven't gone according to plan. Either you take that as evidence of a difficult game to come, or you think it's about time we gave them a tonking. I'm of the latter persuasion.

Having said that, How To Get an Undeserved Draw at Grimsby for Dummies is now a non-League bestseller, boasting a plethora of testimonials. All you do is sit back, slap any player getting forward of the ball with a club fine, and if you're jammy, score with your only break of the match. I would hope that Alty are above this – the best clubs are.

But if they're another one of those parked bus teams, it will be width we'll need to break them down – something we conspicuously lacked against tedious spoilers Guiseley. I would drag Jack Mackreth back from the outbox and stick him on the bench. OK, he might be generally ineffective and easy to steer harmlessly into the corner, but he does at least find the bye-line occasionally.

As of yesterday, we welcome midfielder Jon Nolan from Lincoln. He is a player whose quality as a footballer seems agreed upon by all, although some have found it necessary to mention his temperament, with even Chris Moyses describing him as "complex" and "a bit fragile". Don't you worry, my man. Round here, being too sensitive for Lincoln is considered a badge of honour. Make yourself at home.

A little housekeeping: Bromley away is now on Tuesday 9 February, and Woking at home Tuesday 23 February. Town will now play Saturday–Tuesday for the whole month of February.

Tom Nield is tomorrow's ref. It was Nield who sent off Forest Green's Aarran Racine at Lincoln last week, as well as wafting another seven yellow cards. It would be nice if this time against Altrincham the officials decided to stick to the rule that says the ball has to actually go in the net to be a goal. UTM.