Cod Almighty | Diary

Dangle from the wardrobe in your balaclava

21 April 2016

Miss Guest Diary writes: 'If only' must be two of the saddest and most futile words in the English language. As a bereavement counsellor I have spent many hours listening to 'if onlys' in relation to things done or not done, said or not said in relation to someone who has died. In my life outside of supporting Town, I have only a couple of 'if only' moments, but when it comes to Town I have simply lost count.

The latest was on Tuesday evening. If only I hadn't let the combination of a long-standing lunch date with a friend and the prospect of getting home at two o'clock in the morning deter me from going to Woking, I could have seen Podge's latest, and best, hat-trick. But I did let it and there's no point in moaning about it now.

The list of previous 'if only' moments is a long one, and some rankle more than others. There's the time I agreed to help my brother move house and missed Buckley's triumphant 5-1 defeat of West Brom after he'd returned from his unsuccessful spell as their manager. Then I missed Liam Hearn's four-goal spree against Alfreton in 2011 because I was sulking about the previous week's loss to Wrexham while Town were playing 4-3-3.

Possibly the most galling of all is missing Peter Bore's hat-trick in the 6-0 defeat of Boston in February 2007. I actually had a ticket for that game and was in Boston but took pity on a friend who didn't have a ticket and went shopping instead. Shopping! In Boston! They've only got two shops worth visiting. What was I thinking?

Conversely, if only something had cropped up to prevent me going to the play-off final in Cardiff ten years ago: one of the most depressing matches I have ever attended (and definitely the most expensive). Do you have a Town 'if only' moment you'd like to share?

Elsewhere, the Town youth team, bolstered by the old heads of Doig and Warrington in defence, took on Scunthorpe reserves yesterday and secured a 1-1 draw. Scunthorpe fielded some catchily named players called Trialist A, Trialist B and Trialist C. And Dominic Vose. A nice little irony that someone who turned down a move to Town because he didn't see the point in playing for another non-League club is now playing against their youth team. Oh sorry, just a touch of schadenfreude creeping in there.

The local paper reported yesterday that ex-Town player Gary Lund is running the London Marathon on Sunday on behalf of the NSPCC. Good for him. There's not much interest in this as a news story. I mention it only because it provoked a surprising flurry of texts between my other half and a mate of his – both ex-schoolmates of Lund – about how old the former striker is now looking. Proof, they concluded, that exercise is not always good for you.

In one of those odd pieces of scheduling, the player of the year awards will take place next Tuesday, nearly a month before Town play their final match of the season at Wembley on 20 May. Voting has been open for a while but, let's face it, the club might as well just give the trophy to Podge now. Not only does he score buckets of goals, he backs his manager too: the perfect professional.