Cod Almighty | Diary

To stand up and be proud of our monarchy is to stand up and revel in unfairness

22 April 2016

The free market. It's great, isn't it? Football was terrible in the old days, before they let the free market take over, and we got all these people with money in to make the game better.

Take sponsorship. In the bad old days, before June 1977, football clubs weren't even allowed to have sponsors' names on their shirts. And look – all football before June 1977 was terrible. Not like now. Now we have sponsorship. A company gives money to your football club to show you adverts. The company gets exposure, the club gets money. Everyone's a winner. Except you, maybe. But who the fuck are you? Oh, and maybe your club, in the end, because the net effect of unlimited sponsorship is that the money just goes on pay inflation, so that players can spend more money on cars and spicy chicken. Still, apart from football clubs and fans, everyone's a winner. Especially Aston Martin. And Nando's. And the official receiver.

Your original/regular Diary is understandably delighted, then, to note that Town's sponsorship deal with Young's will run to a possibly record-breaking 13th year – and the local seafood giant is to extend its involvement from the shirt logo with a deal to rename the Frozen Horsemeat Stand. Hell, if I were one of those folk who have bought the line that a new stadium will save GTFC, despite the club's refusal to publish detailed evidence, I'd probably even say let's get Young's in and name the whole thing after them. They did that lovely advert with the Dock Tower looking all pretty.

You want a source for that? You'd like to read more? Well, I've just read about it at FISHupdate.com ("For all the latest industry news, markets and jobs"). Fill your yellow wellies, yellowbellies.

Tomorrow's opponents Chester are one of those clubs I have mixed feelings about. Yes, in the end you've got to be glad for their fans that they still have a club to support – and admire them for starting up again and getting back to this level. What survivors they are. With owners like Mark Guterman, Terry Smith and Stephen Vaughan, who needs enemies? Still, what fantastically violent teams they fielded a few years back. With players like Cortez Belle donning a Deviants shirt, who wouldn't be their enemy?

In its coverage of the run-up to tomorrow's game, yon Telewag naturally talks up the Ross Hannah angle (the Ross Hanangle… the Ross Hangl… the Rang… oh, forget it). Many Town fans will be unsurprised to learn that Hannah has been a huge hit at Chester this season, scoring 24 times and winning three awards at their player of the year thing. The love is mutual: the player has nothing but warm words for the fans of his previous club at the end of his first season since leaving Blundell Park last summer. "Nobody deserves promotion more than Grimsby, because of their amazing fans," says Hannah, "except probably Cheltenham, because they're clearly quite a bit better at actual football." Or words to that effect.

For Town, one of those utterly pointless loan signings Paul Hurst has been so keen on recently has realised he was an utterly pointless loan signing and understandably fucked off back to whichever club he came from in the first place. Hurst is expected to select some players to start the game against Chester – almost certainly 11 in total.

Want more? Today is Earth Day and this week is Wayne Burnett day. Port Vale – who were basically the same club as Town until we dropped out of the League – are about to score their 6,000th goal ever, which is a pointless stat, but there's a nice story attached. A-ha-haaand finally, here's what happens if you run the BBC's commentary of a presidential parade in North Korea alongside footage of a royal parade in the United Kingdom. See ya.