Cod Almighty | Postbag

Write on daddy-o!

26 October 2016

I know I always say it but this one really does have it all: Flash Mansaram, a plane for Doigy, marbles, the new stadium, Scott McGarvey, Gordon Hobson, Exeter City, Batch and Derek Pringle's record collection. 

Beat that, Buzzfeed and Huffington Post, beat that.

Flash Mansaram wrecked my marriage

I have one of those missed moments experiences you talked about. December 2002, travelled back from New York to Grimsby for Christmas with my then-girlfriend (future wife and mother of my footie-loving daughter) and took her to watch Town. We had front row seats in the Pontoon against Sheffield Wednesday. It was cold and misty with little to cheer for in the first half. Went to get something to warm us up at half time and they ran out of pies, so had to be content with some weird soup-like Bovril concoction which she was none to impressed by. "What kind of professional sports venue runs out of food?!" she kept saying as the second half kicked off.

We sat back down in our seats at which point her wool overcoat catches on the plastic seating and tears, making her even more pissed off. As I'm trying to calm her down I put my cup down between my feet to rescue the coat and calm her down, just as Town score their first goal! So we miss the first goal but she perks up a bit as there is a glimmer of action. As the game progresses she slips back into her stupor, just as a promising attack builds on our right (Town's attacking left). I tell her to put her cup down to get ready to cheer and clap, just as the cross comes over and (I think) Santos heads in the second. I'm jumping up and down and turn to her, only to see her just raising her head from between her legs as she's finding a spot to put her cup down!

Two goals but she missed them both; damaged her woolen overcoat and suffered grim, freezing conditions. That and a lack of half time food led to her vow to never come to watch Town ever again.

We divorced in 2011 and I'm now engaged again and have a 11 month old son. We're all flying back this Christmas (fiancé, daughter and son) and I'm going to take them all to their first game on Boxing Day, hoping for a better experience, but hopefully the same result for Town!

UTM! 

from Joel

Letters Ed responds: Now that's what we we're talking about, Joel! That encapsulates everything about watching Town. You have every right to blame Town for your divorce and so to risk it all again is an endorsement of your dedication to the cause. Good man!

George Santos headed the first in that game by the way. The second was a rarity – a Darren Mansaram goal. More people have seen yetis than Flash goals, and now it seems that even folks in the ground don't see them. 

Great Scott!

Re: Ex Man United players who played for Town

I remember Johnny Scott playing for Town. He made his debut I think, against Notts County, the first home game of 56-57 season and he was reserve for Northern Ireland in the 1958 World Cup in Sweden. My late father went over to Sweden to watch; there were no subs in those days. He and Don Donovan became personal friends of my dad and often came over to Lincoln to visit.

Jeff Whitefoot was snapped up by Forest and won the FA cup with them. He one of the finest wing halves I've seen play for Town. Hope you found that interesting.

from Dave Herriott

Letters Ed responds: Hi Dave, thanks for writing and glad the Town/Utd XI brought back memories. Mad to think that teams used to play with no subs, isn't it? 

Unanswered letters

Being ignored has made me feel like a Town legend. Learning that even after all my years with the club, with everything I've got invested in it, nothing I say will make any difference and nobody will pay a blind bit of notice: I call it the Paul Groves Managerial Experience.

Since we're back on speaking terms, how about this small observation. Not only are we back in the proper league, we find ourselves in the division with easily the coolest names. OK, there's the odd tedious City and a host of dull Uniteds, but there's also Stanley, Argyle, Orient and, best of all, Alexandra. No other division comes close.

from Phil Watson

Letters Ed responds: Phil was responding after we'd apologised for ignoring emails he'd sent to an account we had forgotten to check for several months.

Plane sailing

Maybe all the players could have a whip round and purchase this for Deputy Doig? Although at £47,500 it may be a bit steep for league two wages

from Matt Pakes

Letters Ed responds: No need to get the players involved, Matt, we could crowd fund that and it would be far more use than a Straker come January

Good Garth

I've been following the debate on and off about the new site for GTFC and I am amazed a decision has yet to be made.

The regular CA digs at Northampton Town FC have caused much merriment in my household - being refugees of GY who came here for a "better" life (or, just a life considering how bad the town was years ago) I find I'm in total agreement. The only thing that Sixfields has going for it is the two minute drive to the closest of three junctions of the M1 serving the town which makes access a piece of piss which can be navigated by the sun and a flight of geese rather than needing a satnav. The ground does absolutely nothing for the town itself unless you are a TGI Fridays or Buddies diner franchisee. The only saving grace is the ability for local yoof to be able to watch half of the pitch for free from the slope above the ground, it being set in a natural bowl (or maybe like the local roads it's slowly sinking in to what was a landfill site previously)!

Garth Lane to many is a no-brainer. Simple access to the A180, a jaunt across the Precinct (spending cash on the way) for fans using the train station, proximity to our historic docks... as yes, people still ask why I don't smell of fish when I tell them where i'm from. Real regeneration - what a fantastic opportunity.

However, I'm sure you are all quite right in that this will not happen. Councils are inept. Councillors are often corrupt. They look to the short term every single time and don't think about their legacies. Hence, you too will get a Sixfields in the middle of nowhere so yet more executive detached four-bed boxes can be thrown up by Eastern European brickies.

Maybe i'm being harsh. I don't have all the facts, but facts are for bean counters, not fans. Witness Northampton Town again. The council is under scrutiny now for loaning £10 million to a developer for the new stand (we knew Man Utd would be visiting soon), yet only £400k was ever paid to the contractor, whilst the previous chairman (also under investigation) built a mansion, and paid his son a six figure sum for "consultancy services". The council "won't rest" until the taxpayer gets what they paid for. Well, I'll sleep soundly knowing that. Have they never heard of stage payments? The developer must have thought all his Christamasses had come at once.

But then I am talking about the council which said no to Ikea coming to the town as they were worried about the effect on local small businesses. Ikea subsequently said a big Swedish bollocks to Northampton and paid their silver Krone to Milton Keynes council instead - paving the way for Stadium MK, & for Pete Winkelman (who owned the land) to buy Wimbledon - your second most common CA theme. Yes, good old Cobblers even facilitated that. Don't take it out on the fans when you get to play us in division three will you?

from Steve O

Letters Ed responds: This one will run and run, Steve. Even if we build a stadium, we'll still argue where it should have been built. It's like Brexit, isn't it? Oh God, it's not like that, is it?

Mibbies

In My Grimsby, during or rather before a game of mibbies (marbles) you could say "lag ad yer", pronounced lagadger which meant you went second and therefore got the first chance of winning.

Also you could say "no notes" meaning no unusual or special rules. These terms were usually yelled at max velocity and volume for the best effect.

from Geoff Wentworth

Letters Ed responds: I like this Geoff, it takes my mind off trivial stuff like that Brexit thing (remember that?) 

Youth development

I like the Futcher-Handyside example stated in today's diary. But another category would be young versus established e.g. Gary Croft battling with Paul Agnew and Kevin Jobling for a position.

I struggle to think of recent youths getting particularly close to such a battle by comparison; Bradley Wood under Woodsy, Dayle Southwell under Hurst, and of course Ryan Bennett. Once Bennett fought off veterans Heywood and Hope, we sold him...

Another factor may be the availability of loanees from above, and on the cheap - see the current loans from Man United, QPR and Barnsley.

Of course the irony is, we only know if they're any good if we see them play or if like Southwell they find their way back to the league, which is a very rare occurrence.

from Dan Humphrey

Letters Ed responds: it's a bone of contention (just like that Brexit), that's for sure. I mean, what's the point of the yoof system if we never see the benefit of those players we develop? Great for your Granthams and Boston, yeah but are our youngsters any worse than those we bring in from outside? What's the difference? Why don't we produce Drinkells these days?

Less on-call than you think

Hi,

Stags fan here. Just wanted to say well done on this piece. It's the most up-to-date and accurate appraisal of the Stags I have ever read. Normally, they're inaccurate, biased and out of date, but your summary was excellent.

One point I would make, the One Call Girls (which I don't think anyone is really that pleased about) only turn up to two or three games a season, so we hardly ever see them. They way they have been portrayed in some media makes it sound like they're a regular fixture.

from Richard Dove

Letters Ed responds: Hi Richard, thanks for reading - to be honest, we're often quite biased and if not out-of-date then at least rooted in the past. You caught us on a good day.

A forgotten striker

Gordon Hobson seems to get little recognition amongst Town fans. However i'm sure he got nearly 20 goals in 1985 ish, including a winner against division champions Norwich.

He ended up at Lincoln poor chap.

from Martin Robinson

Letters Ed responds: Good shout, Martin. Hobson was Town's top scorer in 1985-86, with 15 league goals in a total of 18. 

 

No hidden mic

That's one hell of an interview. I loved it - beautifully written, and McGarvey comes out of it well. We need more of this writing.

Could easily be turned into a trust book with enough interviewees. Dare I suggest that it might balance some of the articles that made the first book, We are Town? There was a particularly bitchy article about Mike Lyons (ahem). I'd love to read his reflections on his time at town...

from Rob McIlveen

Letters Ed responds: Thanks Rob, I don't think that anyone expected McGarvey to hit the headlines like he did when Pat told us he was off to interview him. Finger on the nub of the pulse of the zeitgeist? Yeah, that's us!

Unsustainable

Good piece- but believe us, sustainable it ain't...

Repeatedly running out of money now... or at least what comes in by way of transfer and cup windfalls isn't being invested in keeping us in the League, and with a manager who has platinum handcuffs studded with diamonds in the shape of a rolling two-year deal, he's not going to walk away from, the future at present is far from bright.

Players are now virtually part time and rapidly becoming an injury ridden band of has beens, won't be's and wannabes with the odd bright light such as Ampadu among them.

Three points on the plate for you... Enjoy your visit. I don't think you will be coming here again next year at the current rate of progress.

from Alan Devlin

Letters Ed responds: We've been getting lots of positive feedback about our rough guides to our opponents, both from Town fans and from supporters of our opponents. Glad you are enjoying them.

Lost at sea

Nigel Batch wore green. Never did him any harm.

from Martin Robinson

Letters Ed responds: Good point, Martin, good point. It's a fine line between superstition and forgetfulness.

Letter title...

Lovely piece on the links between Cambridge and our own dreaming Freemo tower blocks. For info, Sasha's cousin, Simon Baron-Cohen, is (probably) professor of psychology at Cambridge University. He is certainly the world's leading authority on autism and its causes (which are almost certainly genetic). Mention Sasha's name in Simon's company and there is a silence that speaks volumes.

Cambridge is a beautiful city and one where the extraordinary (at least for me) is perfectly ordinary. Yesterday morning, I saw a former archbishop of Canterbury running for a train apologising to everyone he managed to slam his laptop bag into. In the afternoon, ex-comedian Rory McGrath called me a "fucking cunt" because I stepped out in front of him and his bike. I called him an "arsehole" and he smiled at me. I love chatting with ex-England cricketer Derek Pringle at Pete's Music in the market place. Pringle has an amazing knowledge of prog rock and a record collection to match. It's first pressings in mint condition only for him.

As much as I love Cambridge, though, I hope we give them a six-goal stuffing tomorrow!

from Rob McIlveen

Letters Ed responds: Sometimes a letter arrives and I wish it was a whole article of anecdotes. This is one of those.

Real life football

Lovely piece by Grant on real life football - and forging good links. Brilliant, well done.

from Tony Barker

Letters Ed responds: Thanks Tony, Grant's account of an evening in Harrogate was a great read.

Come on then, think you can do better? Do you? Get writing and we'll read it at the very least.