Cod Almighty | Diary
The day baby Jesus was revealed - who knew they had a January window?
6 January 2017
Retro Diary writes: Now that we’re all agreed that footy and religion can indeed be mixed, let’s say right from the off that today, 6 January, is Epiphany. It’s supposed to be the day that baby Jesus was revealed. So there you go – who knew they had a January window even back then?
Which means that last night was Twelfth Night. But because nowadays we follow John Lewis’s calendar and not God’s, Christmas, far from following on from Advent and going on for twelve days, now starts way back in October and grinds to an apathetic halt on Boxing Day when an abrupt end to the spending takes the commercial point out of the thing. So in our house, being loyal and slavish brainwashees of Toys R Us, the plastic tree has long gone back in the loft and the last residue of Bounties in the Celebrations dish are the only hint that anything went on.
Even if you like Christmas you can have too much of a good thing. We’re not far off 'blue Monday' now, and if there’s any cause for cheer on this 6th day of January (assuming Epiphany’s actually not on your radar), it’s that today, the day after Twelfth Night, is officially as far as you can possibly get from next Christmas. So breathe deeply, plan your summer holidays, dream about a play-off charge and listen out for that first cuckoo.
Where were we – oh yeah. There’s a game tomorrow, and it’s hello again to our old friends Hartlepool. Odd, isn’t it, that we should be using up some of our life-shortening supply of grudge on these perennial strugglers. The reason, as we know, is that two of our promotion heroes decided that the Pools were a better bet than us in the close season, going against every rule of logic, intuition, and indeed, historical fact. They compounded the insult by beating us at home back on 1 October, and I’m keen, as I’m sure you are too, that Town get a result tomorrow so that I can avoid feeling like I’ve been patronised by a four-year-old for the second time this season. A glance at the fourth division table should douse any Pools’ fans smouldering sense of self-satisfaction. Yes, Podge and Toto, we did tell you that might happen.
Toto has, of course, moved on – to Shrewbury for a fee most definitely not £25,000 (according to chairman and Twitter fishwife Gary Coxall), and a generous-beyond-belief two-and-a-half year deal. So was Toto better than we thought, or has Hursty’s famous contrariness finally gone rogue? Pools manager Craig Hignett can’t quite believe it either: "Toto goes with out best wishes" he says, before drily signing off with "there’s a player in there somewhere".
Chairman Coxall’s inference in his Twitter exchange with the Pools fans is that some of Pools’ more valued players would be made to turn out in the blue and white stripes whether they wanted to play for the club or not, but Toto, who falls into the 'or not' category, isn’t one of them. Don’t say it, I know. The surprise is not that Toto doesn’t want to play for them now, but that he wanted to play for them in the first place.
It may be an awkward drive from North East Lincolnshire to Hartlepool for tomorrow’s 1,000+, what with the Humber in the way, but one major advantage of playing them away from home is that Pools can’t wear that terrible cerise pink kit. Podge, as perceptively pointed out by Wicklow Diary yesterday, plays against his third former club in three games. That’s what happens, see, when you keep changing clubs when staying where you are is the easiest decision in the world.
I can’t believe Gunning wasn’t booked or sent off for that picking the ball up thing. Ross Joyce would have needed a purple card for that one.
Hartlepool may be buoyed tomorrow by their late equaliser at Accrington on Monday. Strangely, there was no minute’s silence for George Michael at the Wham Stadium, but there was indeed some silence in the 86th minute, when, with Accrington 2-1 up, after a vintage fourth division goalmouth scramble Pools’ Scott Harrison blasted aimlessly from such close range that the ball simply had to go in, nearly removing the net and his own player’s head. And he still nearly missed. Pools didn’t play particularly well, and their equaliser stemmed from a free kick that wasn’t one in a million years. Assuming we can overcome the brownian effects of a rather inexperienced ref tomorrow, Town shouldn’t dwell too much on Hartlepool’s strengths and play their own game without fear.
Micro-analysing Town’s performances at the moment would seem relatively pointless, with our side in such a pronounced phase of transition. Which, or how many, of the five centre halves will take the field tomorrow, is anyone’s guess, although it might be nice to have a first look at Gavin Gunning who - the Telegraph will be pleased to note - has a name made for puns, and whom a Morton fan has described as "utterly insane". Sounds a hoot. I still can’t quite believe he wasn’t booked or sent off for that picking the ball up thing – Ross Joyce would have been in meltdown. He would have needed a purple card for that one.
Other transfer activity is simmering in the background but if you think about it too hard it makes your brain hurt, especially as little of it makes sense without the bits they don’t tell you. That’s why I tend to discuss it only when it’s confirmed.
And at the time of hitting send, nothing is. But, for the record, Luke Maxwell, a left midfielder from Birmingham City and possible loanee, is a new name as of this morning; Osborne and Asante (Solihull) are said to have turned down our first offers; and we seem to be interested, in a non-specific way, in someone called Sam Jones from Gateshead.
Tomorrow for us, Sean McAllister and James Berrett are out, and Luke Summerfield is doubtful. Hartlepool have lost their keeper Trevor Carson to a long-standing shoulder injury, and new loanee Trevor Cavanagh may make a debut in defence. Our exes Carl Magnay and Rob Jones continue to convalesce with long-term injuries.
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