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Cod Almighty | Diary

I come from a long line of peacocks

10 January 2017

Wicklow Diary writes: When my proverbial mate down the pub griped that Manchester United were on the telly in the FA Cup for the 55th time in a row, I assumed he was just using some exasperated random hyperbole as in "that's the thousandth bloody time Hannah's been caught offside". But no, it's a fact. (Actually, with apologies to Devon Diary, that Ross Hannah one may have been on the mark too.) The magic of the cup is watching Man United pummel Reading and then imagining them losing another insignificant six-figure TV fee down the back of the couch.

The TV obsession with the Manchester giants might be alright this time round. They've been drawn at home to Wigan in round four. That'll be bumper gate receipts and the prospect of TV cash for the Wigan of "reported to be interested in Omar Bogle" fame. Chelsea v Brentford is a similar money-spinner for a second-flight team that could soon be in the market for a striker if West Ham can prize Scott Hogan from them. And 'prize' is the word. The latest rejected bid for Hogan was £12million. You get the picture. There is a lot of money out there and Town are waiting near the bottom of this cash waterfall. Even the dog on the street knows about Omar by now.

As I said last week, these guys are used to shopping in Harrods, not Ramsdens, so set the price accordingly please Mr Fenty.

By way of actual bids for Omar, all we have so far is the derisory offer from Barnet and the reported £850k bid from Rotherham yesterday. That word 'reported'. It's the word that fuels the transfer window. The Telegraph used it yesterday to describe the Rotherham interest. So, in effect we have a report on the reports. Old school would be to investigate the Russian doll of reports and then confirm or refute with facts. Don't take offence, Matt and the team – it's the pace of all modern media, I guess.

As second-tier clubs flurry around us looking for the next Jamie Vardy, we're busy looking for the next next Jamie Vardy. There's a nice interview with a key man in that process in the Telegraph today. Head of recruitment Gary Whild is obviously a busy man. He'll be even busier when he realises the club expects his job description to extend to filling three vacant programme seller postitions and finding a new sous-chef for McMenemy's.

Looking to add to the signings of Ahkeem Rose, Adi Yusuff and Gavin Gunning, Town list six trialists in the reserves squad to play at Rotherham this afternoon. Several of these are Redditch defenders and given Whild and Marcus Bignot's midlands experience we can probably expect to see a continuation of this location theme. Biggleswade striker Inih Effiong is a rumoured inclusion, having been deemed most likely to be the mystery man spotted at Cheapside yesterday.

The game will be the reserve debut for Rose. Judging by his social media posts, young Ahkeem is enjoying the dreamland that we'd all be in if we'd just signed for Town. Love to see that.

Gavin Gunning isn't included in the squad and is faced with a different challenge to Rose. Town represent a chance for him to re-establish a once promising career. He negotiated the first tricky step in laid-back fashion in his introductory interview with Dale for Mariners World.

Hang on, didn't Rotherham stand us up off for a friendly with Tottenham in pre-season? That bid for Omar was a bit on the cheeky side too. Forget your career progression – make sure you trialists give them a jolly good stuffing for us today. I'd better finish now, or the match will have been played and the triallists signed up by the time I hit 'submit'. 

With that it's back to the important stuff where Cod Almighty discuss the matters that other football fanzines wouldn't dare touch. The pizza platter. A thing so nichely Grimsby that some folk weren't even sure what it was. And those that did maybe hadn't considered that it didn't exist outside of GY. Make sure to visit Twitter to weigh in on this vital debate.