Cod Almighty | Diary
Bobby Roberts' full name is Robert Roberts, thus creating a new category in the Grimsby pluralses index
7 February 2017
Wicklow Diary writes: Awards watchers are already calling it the biggest mismatch since Weekend at Bernies II challenged Schindler's List in the 1994 Oscars. I awoke this morning to the news that Marcus has been nominated for manager of the month. Wait, how long have I been asleep? This is the January 2017 award, right? The football population of Stevenage must have spent the morning spitting out their morning beverage. What the hell is this nomination thing anyway. Exeter's New Year's resolution was beating the hell out of teams across the land and by jove they've stuck to it. Just give the gong to that bloke with the funny hat working out his notice period like he really means it.
If you've been asleep for a solid week after reading my diary farewell to James McKeown (having read it back, it's a fair possibility) you too will be feeling a little disorientated at his inclusion in the Football League team of the week. In GTFC colours, at any rate. We've seen and read it a hundred times but here's one hundred and one. Bloody marvellous moment, wasn't it? File it away as one of those moments that make football perfect. When the routine fact of an insignificant 1-1 draw collides with furthest far-fetched fantasy. No need for awards, medals or worldwide TV audiences: this one belongs to us – and, I'm glad to say, so does James McKeown.
Enough romance. Awards? Gah, be gone with you. Team of the week, performance of the day, man of the match. Christ on a bike, you can't move for meaningless awards. Team of the week is a particular rankler. Has some panel of sad gits watched every game in the division and compared every player and every position and compensated accordingly for formation, strength of opposition, wind direction and grass length? No? Well, then sod off. Still, fills a couple of paragraphs on a Tuesday. Keep up the good work, you awards lads.
Luke Summerfield has joined Macclesfield on loan until the end of the season with an option of a permanent move. Thanks Luke for your efforts and occasional skill but I won't miss squirming in my seat at your trademark reverse sideways blind passes.
Kayden Jackson also said his farewells on social media yesterday and has returned to Barnsley. Having looked like a world beater on opening day, he quickly settled into the Paul Hurst loan striker mould: lots of effort without ever looking like scoring. Again, thanks for the effort, and I suppose if you're only going to score one goal, make it a memorable one. (I know about the other one in the trophy yoke but if it isn't in the CA database then it technically doesn't exist). It is also one more league goal than Tomlinson, Alabi, Jones, Jennings and Hoban combined.
This brings us down to a mere 27 in the building with Venney, Wright, Clifton, Browne and Summerfield stuck in the portacabin they use for storing the lawn mowers and pitch paint.
I've come to accept the idea of Marcus making his changes now with one eye on August. Short-term and reactive steps were regarded by the club as a necessity in non-League. There's an argument that this prolonged our stay in the Conference – let's hope there's never a 'next time' when we get the chance to do it differently. A move towards planning for what's over the horizon should be welcomed, even it is a tad hectic at times during this transition. Also, being ready for August means we'll kick some serious arse in pre-season. North Ferriby? We're coming for you.
A few wobbles between now and then will be part of the deal. In reality, with two managers and about 40 players we've been in transition all season. Yet we're still on the play-off fringes. We know the stadium needs to get sorted – and nobody mention benign loans – but on the pitch, there's a lot to be excited about. MB is looking forward. May 2016 was the genesis for Retro Diary's 'Goldilocks club' concept. We're the pondlife that just pulled ourselves out of the swamp. And just like John and Roly's 1991 season video, the only way is up. Enjoy the ride until we've evolved into a boring mid-table second-tier outfit and we appoint some chancer that pushes us off down the helter-skelter again.
Looking forward to Saturday has me looking back in anger. Kevin Johnson is the ref for the game with Crewe. You may remember him from such monumentally shit performances as "Gateshead v Town, 2014 play-off semi" and "Colchester v Town 2016". What a clown. We were bad that evening but the ref was much, much worse. The kids still talk in hushed tones about the naughty words that Dad used that night about the ref and his accomplice liner. Let's hope for a better show on Saturday.