Cod Almighty | Diary
That crazy casbah sound
8 June 2017
Wicklow Diary writes: With politics taking the spotlight in the three ring circus for the day, what Town news can we scrape from the bottom of the barrel for you? There's nothing new to READ | on the official site, although there is an opportunity to SUBSCRIBE TODAY | to iFollow. "Grimsby Town fans living overseas will be able to watch all of our EFL games live next season" is the proud boast immediately undermined and dismissed by the sentences that follow. The reassuringly inclusive "all" is quickly replaced by the worringly vague "up to 46" and the geographic certainty of "overseas" is qualified to become "oversomebutnotallseas". Confusing, not to mention the damage it could cause to the Good Friday Agreement by casting all of Ireland into the UK.
Oh, and the live matches don't yet work on Apple and Android mobile/tablet devices regardless of where you live. Fans who trust the club and the Football League to deliver a quality product can part with £45 or £110 depending on whether they are over a proper sea like the English Channel or a pretend one like the Irish Sea. In other, unrelated news, coming soon to Cod Almighty, a new series of tech guides starting with "The ABC of VPN for GTFC" and "Fastest finger wins: a guide to closing pop-ups on on Russian streaming sites".
Anything else out there? Well, a bloke down the pub said ex-Coventry defender Nathan Clarke could be the latest player to be plucked from the odds 'n' bobs bin by Russell Slade. As a thirty-something defender fresh from relegation, he certainly ticks a few boxes.
Don O'Riordan. There's a name to give us hope, just as the man himself did during the relegations of '87 and '88. Don was the wrong side of thirty and was a player/coach when he joined Notts County, then quickly balanced up his account with two promotions as County rose to Division One. It's alright to look for the next Don O'Riordan; you probably shouldn't just fill your team with the candidates all at once.
If I can't tell you of any confirmed new Mariners, I can blooming well dredge up news on the army of exes out there. Josh Gowling has swapped the Costa del Clee for the English Rivieria and signed for Torquay. Good luck Josh and say hello to Devon Diary when you see him. Wrexham have added Jack Mackreth to their squad in a move that bossman Dean Keates believes will "put bums on seats". Jack showed promise at Town but unfortunately often put bums slumping on seats by checking back inside or losing the ball when we all thought he was about to skin his man.
Right, and that's it. If you want substance, get yourself over to yesterday's diary. A corker. If interactivity is what you crave, click back another day: Middle Aged Diary is looking for your Wembley nominations. I have to agree with his Aidan Davison pick. The Northampton manager at the time, Ian Whatchamacallit, hated Town and although I can’t prove it, I always maintain that he instructed one of his many lumps to go and wallop Aido. Toto in our 2015 visit was superb – just the type of player we could do with now alonside Danny Collins. Never mind, I'm sure that quick, athletic third division central defenders with potential are ten a penny in the odds 'n' bobs bin.
If Wembley doesn't float your interactive boat, how about this? The lottery was 130 million quid last week. Some might say that the lottery is a tax on the 'stupid'. I prefer the term 'hopeless but optimistic'. As such, it should be right up the street of Town fans. Indeed, look at old friend Lee Mullen and his other Winsby pals.
Mullen won a chunk of cash but found it wasn't enough to really shake things up at GTFC. That £130 million ought to do it though. What would you use your overpowering wad to do if you bought the club? My initial plans would be quite modest. I'd reinstate the corner terracing at BP and paint the floodlights. Then get stripes on the back of the shirts again. I've missed them.