Cod Almighty | Diary
Deuce
10 July 2017
Open Diary writes: So, in the dog days of summer, when the first week of Wimbledon is only just past us and the first test match of the summer is complete, pre-season football has just begun. Call me old-fashioned, but early July isn't the time for football in this country. It's just too damned hot. I mean it comes to something when you have to plaster yourself in sunscreen to either watch and presumably play in a football match. Football is a game for the seasons of woolly hats, striped scarves and Bovril at half time, not sunscreen and flip-flops.
Still, Town have already turned out against local opposition and scored 11, was it, against a side that won't even qualify for the FA Trophy and four against last year's FA Vase finalists. Before we get too euphoric, there are a couple of downsides to those results. First of all, not too long ago, if you went to the Vase final, like me, you would have seen South Shields put five past Cleethorpes Town without conceding. I know that South Shields were a very good side but they scored more and conceded fewer that day.
And then it shouldn't go unnoticed that we shipped three against Grimsby Borough – admittedly without McKeown in goal, but still letting in three goals does seem a bit careless even in a pre-season warm up.
Like me, you may have noticed that Josh Venney had a run out at left-back against Borough and perhaps this indicates a McDermott or Bore-type conversion is on the cards. It's one of those comings together of need and talent. We obviously need someone capable of playing there and Venney is a talented player; at least that's what everyone tells me. And it's about time we saw some of the youth players make the step up, or at the very least be given the time to show what they can do, in the first team.
You see, I can't understand why, in a town where every kid plays football, we can't produce some decent players. When I went to university it was probably the first time I had ever seen a set of rugby posts. The lad I was put into digs with played hockey for Staffordshire and he was looking for someone to practice with. So the first person he looked at was me! I admitted that I had never picked up a hockey stick in my life before. He was incredulous that I had only ever played football and at some point, I foolishly said that where I came from hockey was a girls' game.
The next Wednesday afternoon, which was always an afternoon off for students in those days, I was given a hockey stick, told to bring my football boots and taken to some local pitch and found out that hockey is not some namby-pamby game for wimps. Mind you, he and some of the hockey team did come along and watch Town play Bristol Rovers away one Tuesday night and fortunately we didn't lose.
So that's about all there is to say. These days we all have Twitter feeds on every flatscreen device about our person, and what have we learned? Well, there's a mural at the ground. OK – but what about the new striker? Town had an annual golf day. Y'know, I was hoping for news of who is going to wear the number 3 shirt? And we have yet another new set of shirts to buy.
I just want something a bit more exciting – like Diego Costa rejects Atletico Madrid return for a season on loan at Blundell Park. Or Conor Townsend and Dominic Vose have a big fall-out on the Scunny training ground and Townsend opts to return to Grimsby? This is what we need to see on our Twitter feeds. So sort it Sladey, give us some news we want to hear!
Next time I do one of these will be on 7 August and the season will have kicked off for real at Chesterfield. By the one after that I'll have seen Town play at least once at Stevenage (please let it be better than last season). Then we'll be back into woolly hats, black and white scarves and Bovril at half time. Can't wait for that!