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Where is Ahkeem Rose?

7 July 2017

Devon Diary writes: The Mariners smashed those pesky upstarts Grimsby Borough last night in the second of the week's visits to Bradley. Scotty Vernon scored when he wanted and every single one of the squad scored at least one goal. Or something. 

Next up is Stamford in the Lincolnshire Cup before the first proper test when Barnsley visit next Saturday. If we're honest though, none of these games mean much other than finding out if the squad is fit or if our strikers can hit a barn door which has been left conveniently open for shooting practice. I'll be pleasantly surprised though if we rack up 15 goals in our first two League games but also slightly worried if we ship five.

I'm sure there were plenty of positives to be taken – for one, Sam Jones' gammy leg seems to be better – but the thing I'm left wondering is this: Where is Ahkeem Rose? We signed him on an 18 month deal and we've given him a squad number so where is he? I hope the fact that nobody can be arsed to upload a picture or ask him when his birthday is doesn't mean he's leaving before we've seen him play.

Back at Blundell Park, demand for season tickets off the back of another successful marketing campaign has left the ticket office staff struggling to keep up. So much so, that nobody has time to respond to requests as to how many have been sold. Today I can exclusively reveal that the total to date is more than a dozen but less than Lincoln.

New signings? None of the usual culprits on Twitter are teasing anything so I'm going to say it doesn't look likely we'll see anyone arrive this week. There was a rumour on social media that we've signed Nicky Maynard but we are keeping it secret. Yeah. 

This total lack of anything important means it's time to roll out another Friday brainteaser/timewaster.

Yesterday, after the club announced that Graham Rodgerses would be taking on the role of chief scout (cue shite Bear Grylls joke), our very own Middle Aged Diary noted that since joining us in 1992, Grezza had held just about every role at the club. By my reckoning, it's 7 (seven):

  • Centre back
  • Sports in the Community officer
  • Community development manager
  • Assistant manager
  • Manager (both caretaker and permanent)
  • Community officer
  • Chief scout

Have I missed any? Has anyone done more jobs for any club, not just the Mariners? Who has had the weirdest combination of roles at Blundell Park?  

The rules? I'm easy but let's just say that Ashley Sestanovich career as midfielder, body double for Thierry Henry and armed criminal does NOT count as the latter came after he had left Town. 

Tweet us your suggestions or drop us a line, you know the drill. Have a great weekend.