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Cod Almighty | Diary

Forget the football, when's Retro Diary back?

4 August 2017

Wicklow Diary writes: 5 August. Is that too early for football? Actually we've started this early once before, in 2006. And what a once it was, Peter Bore exploding off the bench to turn 0-2 into 3-2 against Boston in the time taken to utter "Boo, Rodgers out!".

Is the new Peter Bore waiting in the wings to do a similar job on Chesterfield? Max Wright perhaps, what do you think Russ? "We'll make a decision on Max sooner rather than later" spouted the boss this week. No Russ, that's what deciding on Max's future in June would have been. Or even when you said thanks but no thanks to Josh Venney t’other week. This is just pissing about. I'm going to say 2+2=5 (careful, Open Diary used up all the Radiohead quotes on Monday) and draw the conclusion that Max's absence from the team photo shoot wasn't because his invite got lost in the post.

Ah yes, the photo shoot. Some like to supplement their enjoyment during the season with fantasy leagues or perhaps the low tech-ery of a good old-fashioned league ladder. I've ditched those in favour of using the team photo, the CA contract tracker and a marker to remind me not to get too attached to any of these lads. Damn, looking at that 2015-16 picture makes me sad. Reminder: the last time we started treating players as bodies that filled shirts, the bodies replied in kind by treating GTFC as a wage packet and nothing else. How did that work out again?2015 GTFC Squad

2016 GTFC Squad

The official announcement of Karleigh Osborne as our eighth summer signing made it sound like the quantity is something to be proud of and not embarrassed or irritated by. Shows "ambishun" I suppose. "Ambishun" can take you places. Places like Hayes and Yeading, Ebbsfleet and Eastleigh.

With the other Osborne's long-term injury, Town's number of fit midfielder types has dropped to the dangerously low level of twelve. To ensure we don't see a return to sensible pre-Bignot levels, Russ sounds keen on trialist Jack Bridge. The midfield schemer has returned to Southend for now but watch this space.

Russ also suggested yesterday that we were on the brink of signing a striker. JJ Hooper, formerly of Port Vale, sounds like the man. At this late stage I'll be disappointed if we don't use the same technique that Alan Buckley used on the opening day of 1990: that is stopping to pick up a grab bag of Walkers, a Lucozade and a new striker.

It's been an interesting week for the Mariners Trust. They deserve credit for recognising the need to evolve and requesting suggestions for the organisation's future. It's disappointing to hear that they only received 30 submissions. For a fanbase that loves a good moan, many went very quiet when asked for a few ideas. The membership numbers released this week also surprised me.

For a club with such a passionate hardcore, that's not good enough. Tomorrow there'll be pictures and videos of terraces brimming with bouncing Mariners. Impress me further by joining the trust and making your voice heard off the pitch too. Maybe it is isn't cool. However, if you're pumped for Saturdays and want to be still pumped for Saturdays ten years from now, sign up to the bloody trust. Or be prepared to replace Grimsby 'til I die with Grimsby 'til they die. If you don't agree with the trust's direction, change it. It's our club and it's our trust, not John Fenty's or anyone else's. Our football is dying and we need to have our wits about us if we're not going to end up with the rest of the zombies.

My first Town game was a 3-2 win at Saltergate in 1980, so tomorrow's fixture has added significance for me. Back then, the league was as open as the seas beyond Dock Tower. Setting sail from GY, the destinations were unlimited. Tricky to navigate at times but with the right crew, you could go anywhere in the world. That Town side visited the local footballing empires of the time: Liverpool, Everton, Wolves and Arsenal. We gave them a game too. Not some watered down version or B team; they fielded their best and so did we. Some may recall that we beat probably the best team in Europe at the time on their own patch – ask Wilkie about it some time if you're too young to remember.

Respect to the likes of Swansea, Norwich, Notts County, Burnley, Luton, Wimbledon, Carlisle and Northampton. They showed that the gap between divisions four and one was one that could be bridged. We almost got there.

The list of things we're told not to mix with politics is long. The problem is, we're not mixing politics enough. Football and politics go together like fish and chips.

Today the world is our oyster no more. We no longer set sail from a port with unlimited horizons. Division four's horizons have all the potential of slipping in some seagull shit and falling into Chapman's Pond. We're members of the zombie football league.

We have to help ourselves to change that. Don't look to the League. They're busy rearranging the deck-chairs, acting on "a theory that the current arrangements for penalty kicks potentially provide an unfair advantage". All around them is real evidence of the unfair advantage that they and the FA have allowed to flourish. Neymar's signing will take PSG spending since July 2013 to £591m. Mind-boggling but the real stunner is that in the same period Manchester Utd, Manchester City and Chelsea have spent £785M, £769m and £597m respectively.

The list of things we're told not to mix with politics is long. The problem is, we're not mixing politics enough. It should be mixed with everything. Football and politics go together like fish and chips. The game is under siege but it's only a mirror to the world. Neymar's insane transfer fee was paid for by the same country that uses slave labour and kills people in the process. That is grotesque. Slaves that build stadiums for a World Cup stolen with bribes. Financial fair play is a wild dream when we can't even get them to play fair in life.

If you think you can't beat them, you join them. Yesterday Portsmouth looked into their hearts and asked the question – do you want to be a real club for a real community and a beacon of hope for fan ownership? Or do you want to win stuff for Mickey Mouse? They somehow managed to put aside the fact that such ambition almost destroyed them and went with the latter. 

Back to tomorrow when we have 90 minutes to forget all this. We were dizzy with excitement on the opening day last season. This year not so much. You can catch up on Chesterfield with Rich Mills's fine rough guide. He doesn't mention that they seem to have an unofficial nickname of 'Town' which confused me greatly on their forum.

We've got four crocks of varying degree of crockery - Osborne, McAllister, Asante and Clements. The only Chesterfield player I'm worried about is Kristian Dennis because I can remember him scoring against us, and who can argue with that for a reason. They're trying to recover from a relegation hangover and will be feeling delicate. Let's hope we can send them back to bed for the rest of the day feeling sorry for themselves.

Up The Mariners.