Cod Almighty | Diary
Never let me down again
4 May 2018
Free from an all-consuming relegation battle. Free from calculating Morecambe's points per game when conceding first against teams beginning with C on pitches traversing ley lines. Free from skewering the Slade voodoo dolls (not really a doll, actually a hard-boiled egg and it wasn't a skewer it was a sledgehammer). Free to return to pondering the imponderables. Like that fact from a few years ago that more pizzas are produced in Grimsby than anywhere else in Europe. It's the pizza platter innit? All those discarded half pizzas are skewing the figures in our favour.
First up today is a hero of the past few weeks, Mitch Rose. Congratulations, Mitch, player of the month for April for his performances and for launching Mariner I and its occupants into a low but loud orbit three weeks in a row. He spent most of his acceptance speech crediting Michael Jolley. Humble and sensible. Without the new gaffer, Mitch sticking consolation penalties away in consecutive 3-1 defeats probably wouldn't have caught the judges' attention. Attention that should also have been rapt with Jolley's Miracle on the Humber. Instead the manager of the month gong went to Luton's Nathan Jones.
Still, it's no longer grim up North East Lincs. It's not perfect, there's uncertainty over whether James McKeown will sign a new contract and Wicklow Diary junior has pointed out that, as two guaranteed defeats leave with Wycombe, another two arrive with Macclesfield. However, the larger clouds have officially lifted and we visit Gloucester in a good mood. Stop it. First rule of Forest Green Rovers: No vegan jokes. Second rule of Forest Green Rovers: No vegan jokes. Give them some stick about stupidly changing their black and white stripes for nuclear waste green but the vegan stuff is as funny and original as coming to Grimsby and saying we are grim and smell of fish.
Gavin Gunning's attempts to become our pantomime villain failed yesterday. Sorry, Mad Gav, your role in the pantomime is, and always will be, the ass end of the horse. Much as we love an itch to scratch, we love seeing a local in black and white even more. Would it be greedy to hope to see Max Wright join Harry Clifton in the side tomorrow? Max has finished his loan at Scarborough, although he will have to return with a wheelbarrow for the player of the year night next week.
With both clubs safe, the block on Chris Clements playing against us seems, like Russell Slade in January, almost pointless. We've been responsible for benching him enough this season, maybe we can relax that constraint. Clements is one of the out of contract players that Michael Jolley will sit down with on Tuesday. It will be interesting to see who is retained.
All this seemed clear cut in March but football has made fools of some of us again. Usually at GTFC, when you're bloody rubbish you stay bloody rubbish. Stories of redemption are few. Apart from Rob Jones, I'm struggling to think of one. Numerous candidates have emerged in the last few weeks. I for one owe JJ Hooper an apology. I've never called him 'bloody rubbish' but I was never disappointed to see him on the bench or out of the squad altogether. Yet last week I spent the second-half willing the ball to him. Sorry JJ.
How far can we extend this theme of redemption and second chances? I'm feeling naughty and it's nearly the end of my lunch break, so let's throw this one out there. The board. We've had enough of them, right? If John Fenty and his mates stick about we will sink. We need new ownership and leadership. I haven't even considered a third way but is there one?
"You can't expect him to walk away", I'm told. At the same time, we can't expect him to stay and keep trying the same failed methods.
Piggy-backing on the win over County, the club announced that season tickets were on sale early. Excellent. The planned price increase had been binned. Also excellent. Then the trust announced that they'd negotiated a 5% discount for members. Excellent x 3. Yesterday, the players were pictured training at Wintringham school. It's possible the visit was set up when Slade was in charge and intended as an alternative punishment to detention, but still. We've probably gained a few more fans and it should, if the facilities are right, become routine at schools in the area. All the while, since Jolley has been appointed, we haven't heard a peep out of the majority shareholder. Excellent x 1,000,000.
All simple things that a good club should be doing, I know, but our club hasn't been doing them. People will laugh. They might even be angry at the suggestion. A leopard can't change his spots and all that. Yet, there's something different going on. Every day, do everything right and I'd be happy. It's nothing personal against John Fenty. He might be the only nice Tory or he might be a complete wally for all I know. As long as he isn't partial to any extreme -isms, the only consideration for me is how he runs the football club.
Regression is always the danger when you're trying to change the bad habits. Remember how decent everything seemed for the final couple of non-league seasons? Then boom, we didn't even get off the pitch at Wembley and there he was jumping about being an arse. So John. Keep your thoughts to yourself until the end of season Football League junket to Portugal or wherever. Corner Accy Stanley's Andy Holt and learn from someone who gets it. Listen to every word he says.
In the meantime, to be on the safe side, keep the feedback coming on the diaries from earlier in the week. We all need to chip in. Last Saturday was a reminder of how much bloody fun it can be when it clicks. I want more.