Cod Almighty | Diary

In a world full of football Fentys, common sense goes a long way

1 June 2018

Wicklow Diary writes: "Winger Woolford agrees new Grimsby deal" alliterates the BBC Sport page. Nice wordsmithery there but if Wooly were a winger he might be looking for a new club. Thanks to Michael Jolley, we now know that he can also play in midfield. His performances there were a big part of Town's escape to mediocrity and the reason the fanbase cheered the news of his signing up for another year. The reaction was a demonstration of a state our own wordsmith, original/regular diary, coined recently as the Grimbarian binary think-habit of despair or euphoria.

The same fanbase was, shall we say, dismissive of Woolford's skills as recently as March. Stealing a living or sage signing. Supernova bright light or consuming darkness, we embody the black and white of our shirt.

Blame Michael Jolley for the current state of euphoria. He has the Midas touch and has brought Dr Feelgood for anyone willing to let him in the front door. We keep the door on the latch at Cod Almighty. The binary think-habit is a new-fangled thing and has competition from our well-established it's Grimsby, it's going to turn to shit soon and probably already has DNA. Certain thoughts won't go away. Thoughts like Jolley seems like an intelligent chap, what happens when he figures out he's the smartest guy in the building and the dullards are holding him back? A big club like Shrewsbury might lure him from us and we'll be right back in the muck.

It's Friday; those thoughts have more a Monday vibe. Counter it with - bar a few notable exceptions who stand out with their cunning use of basic bloody common sense - perhaps every football club is run by dullards. A world full of football Fentys. How else can you explain Russell Slade being in the running for a new job? We now go live to Carlisle chief executive Nigel Clibbens and his search for a new manager: The process we're going through is both thorough and diligent, and we understand that can be unsettling as people wait for updates. I am sure everyone understands that we want the right person, and that sometimes takes time to complete"

Thorough and diligent. Town fans have heard those words before. Give the plebs some clever words that make it sound like we have a clue. It seems that at the end of Carlisle's thorough and diligent search, the name Russell Slade has plopped out. The news is not official but it appears that Slade's son Tom has lost some of his dad's trust by jumping the gun last night with a smug tweet. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, eh.  

Poor Carlisle fans. I won't be back at BP if Slade gets job was one of their tweets last night. Next stop for Slade after this will be Oldham unless Boundary Park has been given the dreaded naming rights treatment and is now the Bovril Arena. Anyway, that's the fixture list sorted. The computer has a sense of humour, what's the betting we get Slade's Carlisle at home on opening day and get stuffed 4-0?

With Woolford, Whitmore and McKeown signed, the squad for that opening day is slowly taking shape. There are still missing pieces. The Groves, the Disley, the Cockerill. The leader with that elusive combination of ability, attitude and desire who gets that Grimbarian psyche. The player that looks at the rest of the team on a bad day and hoists them up on a shoulder to grind out a result. Macca was that man at times last season. If we're moving on up next season, we'll need a few outfielders capable of the same. It's probably different for each generation but if I could sign an ex-GTFC player? My heart says Joe Waters but I saw Groves play more. Then there's Diz. We were at a lower level but Diz was everything.

Who would you have in there? It's actually a difficult one to consider, we've been lucky to have had many leaders with the skill to match their spirit. Waters, Moore, Cockerill, Groves, Cumming, Disley, Pouton. This isn't a physical violence thing, although that helps in the right measure. The starkest, most painful inclusion from recent times would perhaps be Shaun Pearson. Grrr.

Finally, nothing says close-season from my youth quite like Nigel Batch in his cricket whites. That's the picture that accompanies the announcement that footballers are to line up against the cricket lot in a charity match. June 25 is the date for your diaries.