Cod Almighty | Diary

It will never be finally decided who has won the football

8 October 2019

Congratulations to John Fenty on a much-needed win! After a demoralising series of defeats at the hands of Boston United (Hurst and Scott tapping-up case, 2012), Ofcom (BBC Radio Humberside complaint, 2007) and Humberside Police (driving ban for speeding, 2005), and a goalless draw against Mike Newell (wrongful dismissal compensation case, 2010), Town's beleaguered non-chairman has at last registered a victory against his one-time boardroom colleague Mr Lee Mullen.

Mr Lee Mullen, you may remember, is the one of Grimsby's several lottery millionaires who got as far as putting some money into the football club and getting a seat on the board. Some bust-up or other seemed to take place between him and Positive John at some point, and the next thing we knew Mr Lee Mullen was sinking his winnings into Alfreton Town instead. This week the two parties have been at it in court, and the outcome is a transfer of 20,000 smackeroos to the club from Mr Lee Mullen. "No further comment will be made," sniggers Town's superb new official website.

Well done to John, then, on three counts. First, for a "Statement From The Board Of Directors" which doesn't make you lose the will to live. Second, for a morale-boosting first win in the run-up to a more challenging fixture ahead. Third, of course, for recouping about half of the money that GTFC were ordered to pay to Boston by way of compensation for tapping up Hurst and Scott.

GTFC women narrowly squeezed through to the next round of the Lincs County Cup at the weekend, a win by just the 13-goal margin proving enough to overcome Barton United on Sunday. Beth Wharton has the honour of scoring the team's first ever hat-trick in a competitive match, and the club is carrying a free interview with her on the iFollow thing. A vigorous yay all round.

Last up today from your original/regular Diary, Town reserves are in action this evening against a Sunderland youth XI in the bastardised trophy thing which you won't be attending. The other team's manager is apparently "under pressure" because they've lost against Lincoln and they're only in the top six instead of the top two, or something, so he's being even more dismissive of the competition than he needs to be. Expect a run-out for Charles Vernam and Harry Cardwell and a private decision from Michael Jolley on which two excellent young midfielders he's going to loan from Sunderland next.