Cod Almighty | Postbag

The one with the shirts

28 October 2003

Legs 11

You know how Argentina have retired the number 10 shirt as a tribute to Diego Maradona... well have Town done a similar thing with Terry Cooke's number 11? OR... are they trying to leave it free so next season Groves can regain the number 11 shirt without anyone noticing? This may explain why Cooke never got to wear the number 11 shirt on the pitch, or was that just because he was lazy and shit? My head hurts.

from Genius

Letters Ed responds: Mine too.

An omen?

David Duff? Wish your first name was Damien, mate!

from Glenn Bateman

More pie choice

I think the lack of chicken balti pies at the club is a disgrace. There. Is that better?

from Phil Tolley

Grimsby's rivals

You responded to my email asking who Grimsby's rivals - thanks... much appreciated. You said they were: Hull, Lincoln and Scunthorpe. Could you confirm the order that Grimsby fans hate these clubs please as I am finding that some clubs hated others but the feeling is not reciprocated (and then i shall never bother you again).

from Mike Barton

Letters Ed responds: Well, when any of these clubs reaches our division then we'll consider them rivals. And the word 'hate' is a bit strong, fella. We look down on them and smile with pity on their endeavours, like you would a dog with three legs.

Happy clapper

You carried a letter a week or two ago accusing some Town fans of clapping nondescript, or even positively poor play. It asked for the happy clappers to come forward.

I am probably a happy clapper. It comes about partly from wanting to get behind the team, so you find yourself applauding, say, a defender spinning away from an opponent, to make room to set up an attack. Delayed reactions mean that it then appears as though you are clapping the woefully misplaced pass that follows.

Travel back to 1997. A succession of 1-0 home defeats had left us on the edge of a return to the old third divison. Some seventy five minutes in, an anaemic, nervous performance had left us, sure enough, 1-0 down. The team stirred themselves from their torpor. We put a few passes together to set up the overlapping Kevin Jobling with a shot from the edge of the penalty area. He missed by a couple of yards, but some of us, nevertheless, clapped the move that led to the chance.

This enraged one fan, apparently emerging from the pub, as not much had been heard from him up until then.

"Why are you applauding him for missing? Jobling - call that a shot, you waste of space?"

He did indeed succeed in cowing us into silence for the rest of the match, which, indeed, we lost 1-0.

Now that's what I call a true Mariner.

from Pat Bell

Factual error

Two quid for a programme? Two quid and fifty pence more like, oh master of gurns.

from Julian Barnes

Letters Ed responds: Although our Gurn Meister General has gone back and changed the page now he's seen your letter. Thanks anyway though. Spotter's badge.

Common misconceptions

After the "Grimsby is not in Yorkshire" rant I thought I would add my own little rant about peoples lack of knowledge of where/what Lincolnshire is.

Take this common conversation I have in Manchester (being currently in exile):

"Where you from?" "Louth" "Where's that?" "Near Grimsby" "Where's that?" "Lincolnshire"

And in a total admission of pure uneducation the only answer any one will give me is ...

"Flat there - innit."

Pah. I have lost the energy by now to even point out that while largely being a flat county ... oh you get the point.

Anyone for darts?

from Paul Wright

UEFA smuefa

I don't know if you guys noticed but last week Southampton had to launch a new kit. The reason for this was not the usual commercial men's attempt to cream in more merchandising profit surprisingly. The reason in fact was that they had been ordered too, by UEFA. It seems that there's a new UEFA directive meaning that teams playing in European competitions from this season onwards can no longer have stripes on the back of their shirts as it is deemed to "obstruct the clear viewing of players' names and numbers".

Just something we Mariners fans need to bear in mind for when Grimsby Town qualify for European competition, I think.

from Bob Santich

That's more like it. Good effort. Keep 'em coming though. You know how to do it.