The Postbag

Lexicology, non-league and Czechoslovakia

20 May 2021

Lee has had enough of empty phrases, Mark rebukes BOTB's view of non-League and Mike wants to know more about Town's foray behind the Iron Curtain. Can you help?

We go again but do we have to?

While reading the postbag from 13 May, I was deeply distressed to see the use of the term "going forward" on no less than two occasions. This was compounded by a single use of the slightly less heinous, but equally worrying, "moving forwards".

After decades of corporate bollocks it would be nice if we could steer clear of this sort of thing, particularly as during these same decades when the term was so regularly used we were often standing still and occasionally careering backwards at an alarming rate.

from Lee Johnson

Letters Ed responds: Lee, feel free to reach out to us here at CA Towers and touch base on any matters like this that irritate you. We're all ears.

A love-list of non-league positivity

Dearest Postbag,

Bottom-of-the-Barrel diary has a very one-eyed view of life in non-League, although this doesn't surprise me as having stood next to him at many home games I know he has difficulty seeing what is going on in the game.

To counter his comments:

1. Time-wasting.

None of that in the League, no siree. Just good, honest players being very sportsman-like and not running the clock down while leading 1-0 by feigning injury, making 500 subs, getting the goalkeeper to change where he's taking a goal kick from, arguing with the ref over nothing, swapping who is taking the throw-in several times, booting the ball into the Humber etc. etc. And of course Town never, ever do any of this...

2. Kits

Mansfield anyone? Even Bolton are sponsored by Home Bargains. Come on...

3. Unfindable away grounds

Having been lost in Burslem and Rock Ferry among very many other places, I can say finding a football ground in somewhere like Alfreton is much, much easier. You can walk the entire length of these towns in 10 minutes. How hard can it be to find the ground?

4. Away grounds on industrial estates

You have been to Doncaster, right?

5. Shit refs

In my defence I present to you the fourth flight 2020-21 season. In my experience there are more shit refs than good refs across the leagues. I haven't noticed any tangible difference between non-League and League Two. Happy to quantify this though, as I'm sure the evidence is there.

6. The FA Trophy

Not sure why everyone has a big cry about this. I never buy the "concentrate on the league" comment - it's bollocks. If you're good enough, committed enough and want to win - you win, regardless of what match you're taking part in. I know BOTB thinks there's some shame in winning the Trophy because it is a reminder you were in non-League. My personal view is that you should never shy away from your history, otherwise you'll end up repeating it. Oh, what league are we in next year did you say...?

7. Results in the newspaper

Newspaper? Jesus Christ man, it's not 1973. You think "the kids" are looking at results in a newspaper? No, they're far too busy sending abusive tweets to a left-back who played 20 minutes with an injury and made a minor mistake. Or Twitch-streaming their own football punditry show where they spend an hour berating a left-back who played for 20 minutes with an injury and made a minor mistake. Get with the times, grandad!

Financially, being in non-League isn't good for us as a club. But then financially, being outside the top six of the Premier League isn't good for most clubs. But outside of that, I just want to see us win and play some nice football. All I've seen since we returned to the League is a load of adverts for pies and gambling and some pretty second-rate football.

Bath City may have brought two fans, but at least they tried to play good football. And subsequently let us tonk them 6-0. Which was much more enjoyable than when they beat us when we were in the League.

Yes I want to see us back in the League, but fucking hell, stop bealing. It just makes me think less of you.

Love and kisses

from Mark Stilton

Letters Ed responds: Actually, I think the most prominent advert for pies you think you are seeing is for Clee Metals and this editor applauds them for their commercial genius in front of the Pontoon.

Czechoslovakia chronicles

Hi,

I would be interested to see details of the three tours of Czechoslovakia if possible please. Were there any programmes produced for the matches?

Thanks

from Mike

Rebrand

Dear CA,

I used to love the fact that the English league was called the Football League. This is something you can legitimately do if you are the first in the world to exist. I loved that. Then the Premier League changed that, added branding, broke away and left The Football League for their own league, the Premier League or the Premiership.

Fast forward to a few years ago, and the Premier League rebranded to the EPL and so the older competition followed suit and decided it would be better to be branded as the EFL (Arghhh). Having looked the EFL up, apparently they are still the legal entity of The Football League Ltd, but c'mon, EFL isn't the same as belonging to The Football League in my book.

So now we're non-league. Non-league used to be legitimate, as 'outside The Football League'. I'm now questioning if it does really matter seeing as the Football League dilutes itself and follows the new kids on the block, EFL my arse. The National League is non-EFL, yes, but doesn't quite feel as bad as non- the Football League to me. It's not even a "conference" anymore, a proper league.

Based on this, I propose to market GTFC going into the next season as 'the League team playing in a League outside the EFL'.

Did you know that UK stamps don't have the country designation written on them, and by convention can get away with the Queen's head to denote them as UK stamps? Remember 'Consignia' rebranding Royal Mail? I know what I prefer.

from Ian Jackson

There's lots of developments going on at Blundell Park just lately. What's getting you excited and what's not? Let us know via the postbag.