Cod Almighty | Diary

Take me back you rustic town, I miss your magic charm

26 May 2021

Rumours that wouldn't merit a line in an October diary become the cornerstone for a closed season diarist clinging to a lifebuoy of news crumbs and mixed metaphors. In that spirit, Daubney Diary is pleased to pass on the discovery by eagle-eyed Watford FC and Eastenders podcasters, Voices of the Vic, that Mattie Pollock has updated his social media. 

The internet has made the important things in life so much easier. Getting your big shop delivered, interfering in democratic processes and the seeding of football rumours can all be done at a click. Big Big Mattie, who, as pointed out by ace CA match reporter Tony Butcher, grew in stature with almost every game for two seasons and is now a towering 9ft 7in, has followed the Instagram accounts of Watford and their chief scout. This indicates that the deal is as good as done according to @EFLBuzzingBallerFactFluffers.

Or does it. We went for a second opinion from the old-school gossip who lives in the bushes outside Millfields during transfer windows. "Not worth the microchips its written on, he's probably just a fan of Watford like the rest of us, be it since Caribou or from watching the lovely Ben Foster with the kids on that YouTube" was his verdict before climbing back into a shrub and resuming an ironic rant about not watching Peep Show since "that plummy twat David Mitchell scoffed at his Robbie Fowler scoop and called either Oaklands or Millfields the worst hotel he'd ever stayed in". [Cod Almighty would like to point out that although this link may require you to register for a free trial with the Daily Telegraph, we do not endorse it. Ever]

Made up news isn't going to cut it, so let's take the baton from Middle-Aged Diary and his request for the best of bad lots. Dan Humphrey has chipped in with Peter Bore and Jamie Devitt from the 2010 relegation. Hard to argue with either nomination there, Dan. The CA recollection is that Peter Bore was player of the season while Devitt gave loan signings from Hull a good name, as Conor Townsend would subsequently do. Rich Lord also replied on Twitter with a vote for Peter Handyside in 1996-97 by virtue of being injured for "almost the entire season". We're not sure if that's what Middle Aged Diary had in mind but we'll pass it on. 

Daubney isn't old enough to remember the performances during the 1976-77 season but believes it's a given that Joe Waters was bloody amazing even with a 23rd-place finish. It would be interesting to hear your memories of the team that season, many of whom were to form the nucleus of the most successful Town side in the last 70 years. Maybe we can get Mattie to stay a while and go for a repeat of that.

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