Cod Almighty | Diary

Get your fact's straight from the old horse's mouth

29 June 2021

I am your ex-major shareholder. Those keyboard warriors at Cod Almighty have finally recognised that all these years I have been putting the best interests of Grimsby Town first, as all reasonable people will agree and are calling for my return. Personally, I can't wait for the next instalment of the Fenty Years, which I'm told is being worked upon.

Without me there would have been no football club. The calamitous state of affairs since I left the building has demonstrated this so clearly that even Cod Almighty has the hindsight to realise I am the best person to comment. They did not quite put it like that when they obligated me to make this statement. Their email to me said "Cod Almighty need to restore the cosmic balance by putting out a self-justifying, self-pitying, leaden diary now that the Town chair has published a well-written and insightful article about the place of the club in the community."

You wouldn't understand, but a busy businessman like me can't make the time to read the Guardian. Now I have been alerted to the tyre-kicker's piece, I did glance at the first paragraph and of course it is quite wrong. My own high net-worth is entirely down to my own efforts. The ingratitude of Grimsby Town's wonderful fans for the things I have done is really most ungrateful.

It gives me no pleasure to say Grimsby Town are going to the dogs. It seems that seven players are being allowed to leave the building. They are all players who Olly assured me were just what we needed at a time when we were hoping not to play any football, and came at a not unreasonable price. I need only ask you: whose judgement do you trust?   

One thing the new owners do seem to be getting right. The new kits were unveiled today. I would comment on them, but actually when the pictures were taken, the lighting seems to have failed. That is a sensible economy: after all when did electricity ever win three points on a Saturday?