Cod Almighty | Postbag
Postbag: ho ho fucking ho
20 December 2007
Christmas eh? Yeah, you want a bit of the old festive jollities do yer? Come 'ere looking for a bit of fahcking Santa, eh eh? Well you can take your roasted chestnuts and stick them up yer Santa chute.In this not-really-bumper-xmas-special Postbag: more grimmo slang and Chapman's lies; links; pedantry; more lies and cod. Send your post-xmas five match losing slump whinges to postbag@codalmighty.com.
Duck love
When I first come Grimsby I was called 'Darl'. Been a 'Love' and a 'Duck' elsewhere, but never a Darl. Is this just this area?
Overheard someone talking about a "bunch of Comforts in a pub" etc. What's a Comfort I asked? Yorkies I was told (i.e. Q. "How long you here for?" A. Comfort Day or Comfort Week). Quaint, the English language.
from Jan Przeniczny
Titanic sinks on Chapman's pond
When I was a lad, my Nana told me that a German plane was shot down over Cleethorpes and crashed into Chapman's Pond. To this day I am adamant that she was royally taking the piss out of me. Another memory of Chapman's pond was when the police and their pet Alsatians went Dirty Leeds hunting round it when the scumbags came and wrecked Cleethorpes way back sometime in the 80's. From the very same day I also remember our inbred West Yorkshire friends throwing a brick and tearing the awning over the bakery on the corner of Suggitts Lane. The bastards.
Incidentally, Chapman's Pond is directly linked to the North Sea in a large U-Bend manner. This makes it quite deep. However there is no constant depth due to the rise and fall of the tide. Also, sometime back in the 40's or 50's icebergs were seen on the pond during one of those really bad winters we used to have. I know all of this because my Nana told me and she would know because she lived on Bennett Road.
from Ben Gresswell
I'm freezing, I could murder a buttie
As the Grimmo dictionary has been re-opened what about "starved" meaning cold? My grandmother used to say "You must be starved out there" when the north wind was blowing off the sea and straight up my school shorts. Never heard it used in the same way anywhere else.
from Martyn Wyburn
Letters Ed responds: She wasn't just going a bit old and mad then?
Exchange and fart
I saw your web page ca.php?page=home and have a proposal for link exchange. Link will be placed on the page [removed]
My link details are: Url: [removed] Title: [removed] Description: We provide people with news, fixtures, and results for all events of football played worldwide.
Once you decide to place our link, do reply to the same email address with your link details. Links will normally take 24 hours to be live, however Exempting weekends. Waiting for a favorable response.
from Webmaster
Letters Ed responds: Keep waiting.
Facts of life
re: post-match fact file. I liked it and, more importantly, if CA could stick to this instead of detailed match reports, I'd get Tony back on Sundays to do really useful stuff like hoovering and gardening.
from Sue Firth
A letter
A letter. sdgpigvhpqd
from Smasfha
Letters Ed responds: That's clearly 11 letters you lying bastard.
Doogie Howser
re: not man and boy. In the hospital. Keep at it, I didn't see the light until my dad had been at the same game eight years. I'm nearly 19 now and am mad for the Mariners!
from Mike Gomersall
Letters Ed responds: In the hospital? We're you actually in hospital when you wrote this? Hopefully not mid-op... especially if you're a surgeon.
Beautiful plumage
The Norwegian Grimsby site is now at: http://www.norskefans.com/england/grimsby/
All the exclusive stuff in Norwegian for 20 readers.
from Jostein Jensen
Letters Ed responds: I heartily recommend it to anyone who speaks Norwegian. And even those that don't but just want to look at the pictures and admire the layout.
Pedant attack
Stadium in transformation to Bionic Man shocker! Are you the superb new website in disguise?
"The Fentydoom finds it's Steve Austin" [sic] - Brentford Match facts 10th December.
Lots of love, Grumbly old pedant.
from Ken Andrews
Letters Ed responds: Damn you Marjorie!
Simple question
Simple question: why is that when web sites are redesigned making them less interesting and less straight forward to use than they were previously, it is claimed that they are improved or even superb?
For the record please do not change the layout of Cod Almighty, I like it just the way it is.
from Martyn Wyburn
Letters Ed responds: Don't worry. We struggle to get the content done, let alone faffing about with how stuff looks.
Fish dick
All right, clever dicks, here's one for you: If (Great) Grimsby is associated with cod, how come you can't get it for love nor money in the local chippies and how come everyone (in Cleethorpes at least) eats haddock with their chips?
Have you done the usual 'best chippie in town' thing, yet, by the way? What's the gen on this new book about the Mariners? I got it for my Dad at the weekend, and it looks pretty comprehensive. (He's been a fan of Town for donkeys years.)
from David Feld
Letters Ed responds: Look, any fool know that cod is a dirty bottom feeder - it's the rat of the ocean. We simply let the world think that it's a decent fish, piss all over it, then flog it to the rest of the UK. We keep the decent fish (haddock) to ourselves.