Cod Almighty | Diary

It's short but at least it's rushed

12 August 2022

It's me, your BOTB, I've come ho-ome (does Kate Bush dance). Isn't it strange that Kate Bush is now known to a whole new generation solely through her worst song (except Cloudbusting)? Hang on, what am I on about? I'm not here to talk about Kate Bush, I'm here to talk about GTFC. Focus.

Things seem pretty rosy at the moment, with our glorious ten-man midfield having walked through the Crewe James Alexander Gordon rearguard on Tuesday night and a financially helpful home tie against Brian Clough's Nottingham Forest in the offing. So your grumpy, contrarian diarist is going to remind you that we haven't won a game in the league yet. Yes, we've only played two, but we haven't won yet, and these things hang over me. Turn over Rochdale tomorrow and I will relax a bit, I promise, and maybe even become bearable.

The Rochdales have lost their first two matches this season, though they beat Burtons Albion in the Caribou Cup this week which will have boosted their confidence.

You know who was born in Rochdale? Bill Oddie, that's who. What an underrated man he is. Member of The Cambridge Footlights in the early sixties, featured in I’m Sorry I’ll Read that Again, one of the biggest radio shows of the sixties, star of the massively popular The Goodies in the seventies, and founder, presenter and star of the Springwatch/Autumnwatch series of programmes which achieved fabulous viewing figures. All that and three top ten hits! I think. Can't be bothered to do the research. Yet he finds himself, along with Sue Cook and Eamonn Holmes, as one of Alan Partridge's imaginary showbiz friends – an ungenerous passcode for washed up, pointless or talentless celebrity. Because he's short and has a strange name, no doubt. It's shortism. It's nameism. It's shameful. Hang on, what am I on about? I'm not here to talk about Bill Oddie, etc.

Did you go on Tuesday night? Lovely evening. Nice temperature. Great performance. My brother managed to survive on less than 14 sachets of tomato ketchup at the fish bar before the match with only minor side effects. Unheard of, that last one, and it proved a great omen. People raved about Green and Wearne but I would like to make a special mention of Holoholololahan, who looks a different player to the one who finished last season. Our midfield hunted in packs, showed boundless energy, got into the box, tackled, fought and did generally good football stuff. Brendan Kiernan has done great things in both the matches I have seen so far, despite his arrival from Walsall being rather unheralded. We'll need him too, with John Mac stood on the hard shoulder waiting for assistance. Even tired old pessimists, like...erm...no-one in particular, left the ground with a sense of confidence and optimism for the season ahead.

We will of course have the travelling black and white army at the Rochdales, spreading the fish gospel far and wide. I can't be there but best of luck to everyone on the terrace and on the pitch. Three points would be just lovely. If anyone goes into a cafe before the match can they nick a sachet of tomato ketchup for my brother, please? He's okay at the moment but addiction is a strange thing. Cheers.