Cod Almighty | Diary

We are Grimsby - we have given up

30 December 2022

I was excited before the game last night because, as a Friday diarist, we were playing on Thursday night and I had a rare chance to report on a match before it became old news. As it turned out, it was like being first on the scene of an accident.

Shall I talk about it and depress you further? Yes. Yes I will. 

It might surprise you that, as a pointlessly negative, grumpy and cheerfully misanthropic diarist, the one thing that irritates me the most from a Town team is pointless negativity. It's why I can't really warm to plucky little Grimsby manager Paul Hurst despite his undoubted achievements at the club. He still thinks, despite years of being proven wrong, that the more defenders you have on the pitch the less chance you have of conceding a goal. He never thought that a large striker of some sort might be useful in this division and we could make do with a 34-year old and a bunch of sixth formers up front.

But last night wasn't his fault. I want to talk about Andy Smith.

Andy Smith is a superb defender with a great career ahead of him. But look, if you can bear it, at their second goal last night. He moves across to cut out a hopeless punt upfield. There is nobody near him. The closest Salfordite stops and backs off knowing he has no chance, Smith looks up the field, into the wide open spaces he could just walk into. Then he looks backwards. A Salfordite thinks Smith might actually pass it back to Crocombe for some reason and starts moving towards our keeper. Smith does pass it back to Crocombe, on his wrong foot. Our keeper panics under pressure and hits it too hard at Holohan. Holohan controls the ball like a hippo controlling a beach ball, is dispossessed and suddenly it is in the net. So in five seconds we have gone from a defender with all the time in the world to a Salford goal.

Bear in mind we had just equalised and were on top at this stage. Why go backwards? Why does Smith think that Crocombe's left foot is going to achieve anything he can't from 20 yards further forward in several acres of space? And that's what I mean by pointless negativity.

We are on top. You are in space. The most dangerous area for a football team is its own penalty area. Why are we heading in that direction? I'm not picking on Smith who, as I say, is a great defender. It's just that the moment under review encapsulates a mindset that will get us nowhere. So many times in home games this season I see players receive the ball and immediately look backwards even if there is space in front of them. Effete last night had so many chances to move into lovely green grass in front of him but stopped and went Maxwards. If players are short of confidence I would rather see them knock long hopeful balls forward than constantly retreat into their own half. It might not look pretty but at least the ball is a long way from your goal and not bobbling around in front of it.

Actually, I blame Gareth Southgate. His insistence that your own half is the best place for the ball to be has, in my opinion, prevented a golden crop of English youngsters from winning any trophies. You'll notice that eventual World Cup winners Argentina didn't spend five minutes at a time working it back to their own under-pressure keeper. Yes, I understand the thinking behind it. Keep the ball, drag the opposing team out. Create space further forward. But why does the opposing team come out to hassle the defenders? It's because they can smell blood. And often, they find it.

So, back to the game. Suddenly, a lively Blundell Park had been silenced. Salford then score a complete fluke as their player slips when shooting (let's not pretend otherwise), grab another and the game is gone. Actually, the game hadn't gone. Salford then decided that negativity was the way forward and stopped attacking, and we actually had so many openings we could have clawed our way back.

I'm reliably informed by someone at a better angle that an Orsi cross was stopped by a hand held high above a defender's head (you may remember him going mad at a linesman) when a comeback was still possible. Years of experience has taught me that expecting a linesman to make a decision is like expecting a cow to make a cake, but, nonetheless, a two-goal deficit can be retrieved. Remember the crowd last season singing "We are Grimsby, we never give up?" Well, this season now looks like being a relegation battle (although I was cheered to see the bottom two losing late on) and giving up is not on the cards.

To make it worse, it was bloody Salford. A rich man's train set. What are they doing in this league anyway? Well, they have striker who can score. Without him, meh.

I've also realised that this is the last CA diary of the year. Perhaps I should do a 'year in review' type thing? Or perhaps I should take the cat to the vet and stop moaning. What do you think? Oh, okay. Come on, Tiddles.