Cod Almighty | Diary
Mick Cullen owes my dad money
22 June 2023
Two weeks ago, your West Yorkshire Diary claimed the new season wouldn’t become ‘this’ season until we’d passed the mid-point between the final game of 2022-23 (Wimbledon at home) and the first game of 2023-24 (er… Wimbledon at home).
Well, the mid-point just happens to be today, which is also Fixture Release Day™! While it certainly qualifies as news, it doesn’t excite me like it used to. Where once you could plan annual leave, overnight stays, travel and social gatherings almost immediately upon their release, fixtures these days are only ever pencilled in, so a more cautious approach is necessary to make sure you don’t get totally shafted further down the line.
The day of the fixture, and the time of the kick-off, are both entirely moveable. They can be shifted at a moment’s notice, on a whim, for TV, or on some flimsy, prejudiced or simply incorrect police ‘intelligence’, when all the sensible, well-behaved match-going fans are grouped together and treated like trouble-causers.
If, like me, you’re an exile without a season ticket, and you already struggle to get three or four decent seats together with views of the Blundell Park pitch that aren’t restricted, what you also don’t want thrown into the mix is the risk of a Saturday game being shifted to a Friday night because viewing figures, or something.
Right, I can’t be bothered with segues. Let’s just change the topic dramatically.
When you come into some money unexpectedly, you don’t go and buy something, say, like a dog, which saddles you with weekly and monthly costs that the original sum of money won’t cover over its lifetime. No, you go on a big holiday.
I love dogs, by the way. I don’t have one, but I wish I did. I have two cats. Both black and white, both absolute arseholes, naturally. One gave herself diabetes a couple of years ago, just to make my life a bit more difficult. Two injections a day. Try finding a pet sitter who’s comfortable injecting your cat twice a day while you’re on holiday. You can’t.
Anyway, now the Mariners have some ‘unexpected’ money in their coffers, from that marvellous FA Cup run of ours last season, it appears the board have been spending it on transfer fees.
I could be wrong, of course, but it’d make little sense to start dishing out inflated player contracts over the next few years based on income that isn’t guaranteed. This ‘unexpected’ income has seemingly given Hurst the collateral to open negotiations with his preferred targets and, I must say, given the relatively early nature of the business, the five he’s brought in must all have been right up there on his shortlist.
The money is timely, too. Having had a quick look down the fixture list, there are some big teams in the fourth division these days — and by ‘big’ I mean well attended and well backed financially. You know which teams I’m talking about.
Wondering where this season’s new kit is? Well, the club states ‘delays in transit beyond our control’ as the reason why they haven’t been able to launch or sell the shirts yet. When it comes to merchandise, there can’t be many more profitable items the club sells than its replica shirts. There was a huge delay last season when the club ordered more, having underestimated how many it’d sell. Now this. I don’t suppose it has any negative effect on the numbers they will ultimately sell, but supply does appear to be a recurring issue with these shirt manufacturers.
Okay, let’s not grumble too much. There are lots of amazing and positive things happening at this club. The signings look great, the squad is taking shape, and our first pre-season friendly, against Grimsby Borough, is now under two weeks away!