Cod Almighty | Diary

I've been walkin' in my sleep Countin' troubles 'stead of countin' sheep

10 August 2023

Good morning pop-pickers, your Guest Diarist has dragged his sorry arse out of bed, given himself a damn good talking-to and is here with just a couple of thoughts ahead of a big footballing weekend with Notts in our sights

A lot of people were not that happy with last Saturday's performance but I thought it was OK. At least we now know which areas the team needs to improve on. Some of my favourite ever matches were pulsating nil nil draws. Well this one wasn't pulsating but at least it had a pulse. By the way I have blocked the midweek aberration completely from my mind and I suggest that you do too, gentle reader.

Three things worth mentioning and here they are in no particular order of priority. First Town took to the field, I am told, in brand new "walking out jackets". Call me old-fashioned but why can't they just run on in their nice Town shirts? Jackets worn for about two minutes a week that you can't even properly see. Second I noted a terse tweet from a distant relative who said simply "Toilets still not flushing". Now you might say that the money spent on "walking out jackets" would have been better spent on a plumber but I can't possibly comment.

Thirdly, I always listen carefully to what our manager has to say. And how refreshingly honest his after-match comments about the penalty we conceded which went something like this: "The penalty came from our corner so I suppose we should look at that but when their player can run that fast there's maybe not much you can do is there?" True, true.

As usual I said there were two then three turned up, and here is one more for luck. All these added minutes are gonna mean we sort of play extra time every week so I reckon we need something to liven them up. Working title: the injury time ploy (the funny people who write for Cod Almighty can come up with a proper catchphrase later). We need a ploy, a manoueuvre to get those injury time winners. Right, you've had ten minutes of me and no, I don't do added time so I'm off to research whether haslet dripping on toast really is the cure for the flu.

See yer.