The Diary

Cod Almighty | Diary

Give me the arms of Jordan Cropper

27 September 2023

Scunny in the absolute horrors. Cheltenham going the first nine league games without scoring. Were it not for Town's lacklustre form and the fact that Den Perry's Stevenage are storming up the league, Daubney Diary could be convinced that there's deranged Town fan out there with a genie.

Right, let's talk football. There are young golfers in the house and the biennial Ryder Cup of golf means the biennial introductory Sky TV offer was signed at the weekend. This has broadened Daubney's horizons and non-GTFC games have been watched. Or to be accurate, endured. I'm looking at you Coventry and Huddersfield. But let's start with this from Gateshead last week:

Now Daubney likes to think of himself as a refined man of culture. Owning several books (Dave Wherry's Grimsby Town Story and the Geoff Ford one with the pictures), he can also play a musical instrument, the tambourine, and once smoked a cigar at a wedding whilst swirling a snakebite inexplicably served in a brandy glass. Yet when watching the clip above, he got bored. For the single viral video, there will be a thousand more which climax with a shinball to the opposition.

This play it out from the back, possession football lark will kill us all. It's a monster that has taken over the game and it needs to be stopped. It's why #ARSTOT was described as a thriller at the weekend when there were only about five shots on goal for the entire second half. It's why thousands of people are still asleep at the Ricoh Arena two days after the conclusion of that Coventry Huddersfield bobblefest. It's why England only beat Andorra 4-0 with 397.956% possession a couple of years ago. 

If it was limited to the national team or even Coventry, we'd be ok with only having to tolerate it three or four times a year. But there's a peer pressure amongst coaches and managers; what seemed to start at international level is now everywhere. 

When Town, and to be fair, most lower league teams engage in it, it's the football equivalent of driving to London via Donny, Cleethorpes, Liverpool, Cleethorpes, Sheffield, Liverpool in a clapped out Montego that failed its MOT. It's an interesting journey but there's a good chance you'll breakdown and be mullered at the side of the M62.

Like all decent god-fearing folk, we take Buckleyball over hoofball but just get it forward lads, ffs. There's no need for a basketball shot clock or back-court rule, yet, but force bad defenders to defend. And as for culture, as the second-half of the Crawley game descended into debacle the yearning for Jordan Cropper winding up for another cannonball increased. I'd watch that over the Gateshead clip any day.

Right, the postbag and feedback email has been playing up*, so if you emailed us recently** we apologise for any delay in replying. With naff-all else happening we might go and sort it now***.

* We lost the password
** In the last three years
*** It's Wednesday, no one gets 'owt done on a weekday do they?