Cod Almighty | Diary

Will all the cacti find a home?

2 May 2024

Good afternoon gentle reader, your Guest Diarist is here - a bit later than normal but with the weather finally taking up it's a case of all hell and no notion for us growers. Those sprouting broccoli and Romanescu plants don't plant themselves, etc.

I need to send wholehearted thanks to Deviant Diary who yesterday summarised that podcast thing where the owners patiently told us what is going to be what. In a couple of sentences he told me what took an hour and a half to say. I did listen just now to Mr Artell's radio interview which, at fourteen minutes, was a lot more economical. From what he said, the club pays people to analyse footie data then the management team look in to the whites of the prospect's eyes and decide whether they like him or not in the old-fashioned way. No electric car purchases (they break down and are impossible to repair), but we might go for a hybrid, and the Toyota Hilux is still the best pickup on the market. Unless you count mine for example. I have no idea whether data works any better than old-fashioned contacts and scouting but here are the things Town need, in my opinion:

Taller players, stronger players, faster players. And lastly players who like running through brick walls for the fans and the club.

Despite needing up to a dozen players to make a squad, Mr Artell could not decide whether it is to be an evolution or a revolution. But wholesale squad churn every transfer window is the new normal I suppose. Can we possibly find affordable players who are appreciably better than what we had, and who want to play for the likes of Grimsby, in such numbers? Let's hope so.

In the meantime I bid a sad farewell to all of last year's models - I enjoyed getting to know you but it's speed dating time again and you are sloping off to find a new home. I worry for your potted plants to be honest. See yer.