Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Wednesday 21 May 2003

21 May 2003

"McDermott looks certain to sign a new contract with the Mariners tomorrow." Oh aye? Well, it's all a question of who you'd prefer to believe: the Grimsby Telegraph or Hull's Rivals site, which today claims with apparent confidence that Peter Taylor has given up on Macca and is about to sign Tottenham's Alton Thelwell instead. The Diary has no idea as to the Tigers site's track record in factual reporting, but cause for optimism may be found in the Telegraph's coverage of the John Oster saga last season ("He wants to stay...no, he's definitely going back to Sunderland...in the sense that he will sign for Town, that is...oh, he's gone, that's the board's fault...oh, it isn't, OK then"). Just when we'd all got used to the idea and been telling each other how good Iain Ward and Wes Parker are, it all goes to show once again that where the Mariners are concerned it invariably ain't over 'til the obese chanteuse commences to warble.

It's all looking kind of OK for Paul Groves' transfer warchest, with "brisk business" being reported in the sale of new season tickets (and the Telegraph having to correct some inaccurate information about prices) and enquiries after shares in the club coming thick and fast. "We've been delighted with the response to date," enthuses Peter Furneaux. Shares are priced at a quid each with a minimum purchase of 100, but fans unable to scrape a ton together can still claim a stake via Town's supporters' trust, which has received a special guarantee from the club that its application will be met in full. The trust is hoping to raise £25,000. "This is a fantastic opportunity for fans to collectively purchase shares in the club," says Dave Otter, acting chairman of the trust and the Diary's mum's boss. Don't take any lip from her, Dave!

That nutcase Lee Cobby has been in touch again with another of his novelty compilation football teams. "Me again," he writes. "It got to lunchtime and it crossed my mind that an edible XI would be a good idea, so here it is. They might make a good footballing team, but quite a revolting set of ingredients that any chef on Ready Steady Cook would tear his hair out trying to make a meal of. Except Ainslie, who hasn't got any hair. And he's the host now, anyway." The incredible comestibles line up something like this:

Any suggestions as to how Lee might one day become a well-adjusted and productive member of society should be emailed to the usual address. Meanwhile Pat Bell writes again, with a rather more sensible suggestion for how to pass the close season - "players whose reputations either soar or sink after they move on. I have in mind Dave Gilbert, whose several seasons of excellence on the left wing are now almost forgotten, overshadowed by a handful of flashy performances and the media interest generated by Ivano Bonetti. When Gilbert was playing, criticising him was like criticising the Queen Mother, while Gary Childs was only just behind Kevin Jobling in the scapegoat stakes. Childs now quite often features in Best XIs (and if I'm in the right mood, he features in mine as well) and I've even seen people name Jobling ahead of Croft.

"Similarly," continues Pat, "there were seasons when the only way to safely admit an admiration for Neil Woods was to put in so many qualifications that it sounded like you were being sarcastic ('Considering he can't run, spends most of the season injured and goes months without scoring, that Woods isn't too bad') but he tends to be remembered pretty fondly now." It's a point entirely worthy of discussion, though the Diary feels compelled to admit a long-standing and indeed simultaneous admiration for Dave Gilbert and loathing for the Queen Mother, whose passing was more entertaining than most of Town's as we lost 4-0 at St Andrews that sunny afternoon.

Pat concludes by asking: "Can anyone else think of players whose reputation has varied as much since their playing days and are there any theories why it happens? It isn't all down to age, but I guess it is partly down to the circumstances in which they leave?" The Diary's email address is codalmightydiary@yahoo.co.uk. Bring it on.

And finally, today's Diary has been granted lifelong anonymity in the High Court.