Cod Almighty | Diary
Diary - Wednesday 31 December 2003
31 December 2003
Chuffing taties! Loads of email! But first, Town fans of a sentimental tendency will be dismayed to note the departure of Alan Buckley from Rochdale after just six months in charge. Ever since Buckley was perhaps ill-advisedly sacked by the Mariners in 2000, those few GTFC supporters with a soft spot for the most successful manager in their club's history have been looking forward to seeing the stroppy old sod repeat his extraordinary achievements elsewhere. But financial restrictions spelt an end to his tenure at Lincoln in 2002, and with his latest charges hovering precariously over the league trapdoor Buckley and the Spotland club have ended their association by mutual consent. The guru of passing and movement recently received an award to mark his 1,000th league match in English management but his chances of inspiring another small club to more than a decade of overachievement now look increasingly slim.
Buckley's successor at Sincil Bank and one of his predecessors, Mr Big Keith Alexander, has spoken publicly for the first time since being rushed to hospital in November to undergo emergency brain surgery. The Lincoln boss - who was also brought to Blundell Park as a player by Buckley in 1988 - tells BBC Sport that he hopes to be back at work in around a month's time after recovering from his life-threatening double aneurysm at Sheffield's Royal Hallamshire Hospital. "The first card I got was from Sir Alex [Ferguson]," reveals Keefer. "I don't even know the man. It's pleasing to know that people care."
It's taken longer than many Town fans expected, but completing a hat-trick of stories on managers with a Grimsby connection is a vote of confidence for Lennie Lawrence, whose Cardiff (or, as LL would have it, "a proper club") side have suffered a recent run of results that, although poor, has some way to go to match the tremendous sequence of one win in 20 league games that saw him given the heave-ho by the Mariners in 2001. "Lennie Lawrence is the man to lead us to the promised land," says eccentric Bluebirds chairman Sam Hammam. "I think the world of him." Bless.
One final story before we open today's bulging sack is that Darren Barnard could miss Saturday's trip to struggling Wycombe with some injury or other. Greg Young stands by to fill Dar-Bar's Welsh international boots should he fail to recover in time from whatever injury it is. As to the precise nature of said injury, we are all of us far from certain.
The first correspondent to take pity on the Diary, then, is Simon Bishop of Leeds - he's called Simon Bishop and he lives in Leeds, I should add, lest you assume that he holds a high-ranking ecumenical role in urban West Yorkshire - aka "the bloke that's mates with Dave who's the guy that took Si Wilson's cousin Laura out on a date". Phew! Simon has discovered trouble at t'mill in Wycombe: "Things are not looking rosy at chez Adams," he writes. "The ex-England man has lost patience with the eleven clowns that take to the field on Saturdays and has threatened to ring major changes and delve into the transfer market. Unless Senor Adams reckons he can buy players with Smarties or maybe magic beans, it could be loans that he is referring to."
So where's this leading? Mr Bish goes on: "PG has openly admitted that he would let Hockless and Town's other young starlets go out on loan but the problem has been a lack of interest. In light of Wycombe's predicament maybe PG could make a few calls and let them know about golden Graham's availability? A relegation dogfight (rather than reserve or Conference football) may be what the lad needs to gain some experience and character that would stand him in good stead for what could be a glorious future career. After all we'll have played Wycombe twice so no probs there and maybe he could do us a few favours by scoring a few against our rivals along the way not to mention pick up some tips from an ex-England legend. What do you reckon?" As long as the donkey's got them playing it on the ground now, mate, it sounds good to me.
Andy Holt of London - whose Cod Almighty T-shirt appears to have given him a saintly aura - has an explanation for Tony Crane's mysterious description of Phil Jevons' two goals against Oldham last week as "different gravy". According to Andy, the phrase "points to how our pole-like centre-back spends his Saturday mornings, at least on Saturdays with a home match. It is a phrase used by Soccer AM's Chelsea-supporting host Tim Lovejoy and I guess means something like 'a different class'. By now I guess you'll have had many replies to the same effect by others who subscribe to Sky Sports and read your diary, but how many of those replies will have made reference to the fact that Tony Crane's buttocks start just above his knee and balloon out from there?" The subject of Crane's arse is, I believe, one that has thus far received insufficient attention in the mainstream media, and Diary readers are invited to email codalmightydiary@yahoo.co.uk with their observations on the issue.
"I'm in work, with no one else around," writes Pat Bell, "so in that state office workers are in between Xmas and New Year - you imagine you are going to get loads done, but find yourself looking up Tommy Watson on Google instead, or working out Town's record in all the matches I've ever seen them in (we just avoid relegation, with about 50 points a season, which as they are nearly all away games is not too bad). Probably a bit late to start a campaign for the restoration of a Jan 1 fixture list, but you could invite anecdotes about the state people have been in when watching (or even playing in, if they feature in the Barnsley defence) the New Year's Day game. Nothing to contribute myself, having not got to such a game since I was about 13. Or how about matches where you've taken a non-Town fan, with embarrassing results. Soon after our haddock-waving cup run in the late 80s, I took a woman I was vaguely hoping to start dating to see us at Orient. She was going on about the poor passing in the lower divisions, so rather hoped the Buckley style would win her over. We lost 5-0." Ouch. Thanks Pat, and again readers are directed to codalmightydiary@yahoo.co.uk. I need some time to think about this one and I want to go and watch the Muppets on telly with Mrs Diary. Tell you what though - if you ever want to interview Tommy Watson for your unofficial GTFC website, make sure you have a large overdraft facility.
"I see the auction for the gate naming has closed," writes Will Douglas, aka, morbidly, 'grimsbytillidie'. "I'm a bit narked I didn't win. I was unable to monitor the auction after the 22nd Dec when I was in darkest Devon and was outbid. Still, had I won I would have used my alter-ego and I'm not sure grimsbytillidie would have fitted on the sign too well. Probably worked out for the best..." Would you have gone above 160 quid though, Will? And when they auction off the naming of the refreshment kiosks, who's up for a whip-round to get one of them called the Tony Crane's Arse Snack Bar?
Today's last word goes to this website's resident poet Al Wilkinson, who writes simply: "We're going to New York on Friday." Whether Al is experimenting with an innovative new Japanese-style verse form or simply boasting is unclear, but I guess it means they won't also be going to Wycombe on Saturday. If you're talking honeymoon, though, Al, then I'm sure Diary readers the world over would join me in wishing you and Emma all the best, and don't forget to send us a photo of yourself wearing a Cod Almighty T-shirt in front of the Statue of Liberty.
That's yer lot then. Dunno whether there'll be a Diary tomorrow - it depends on how hung over I am, what's on the telly, and whether there's anything to put in it, so I shall now wish you all health, happiness and good lovin' for 2004. Thanks for all your emails, today and indeed all year long - I'm grateful to all of you just for reading and it's lovely to hear from you now and again. Have good 'uns!