Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Tuesday 10 May 2005

10 May 2005

When the Diary was a wee bairn I used to sit with Little Brother Diary and giggle loudly at our betamax video recordings of The Young Ones every time Adrian Edmondson said the word 'bastard'. Rather less profane, and hence considerably less amusing, was Nigel Planer's line "If I had a penny for every time I've had to answer the door, I'd have five pounds sixty-three!" But after 20 years in mental hibernation it has returned to me today, because if I had a penny for every trialist to have turned up at Blundell Park in the past two or three years, I too would be on my way to the pub and about to pay for a round with 563 new pence. Today alone, it would seem, 22 of the buggers are to take part in another specially arranged practice/try-out match. Isn't it funny how the number of trialists you take on is always exactly the number you need for a game of football? It's like all the news in the world being exactly enough to fill half an hour on ITV. Quite amazing.

Tickets are still available, admits Town's official website, for tonight's player of the year awards at McMenememenemy's, priced at a pocket-friendly two pounds. And for the first time in ages, it's not that obvious beforehand who's going to win. I mean any fool could have guessed Phil Jevons was going to benefit from last year's protest vote, and before that... er... um... well, that's the player of the year awards for you. Unforgettable.

Fashion news now, and the Mariners' new away shirt - or 'change strip', as they used to be called when they were used to avoid clashing with the other team's colours rather than to take a few quid off you - has been unleashed on an unsuspecting world. A natty little round-collared Italian blue number, the design is quite clearly influenced by Cod Almighty's staggeringly successful Ivano Bonetti T-shirt, but hey - Town need the cash more than we do. A 10 per cent discount is available to season ticket holders on production of their empty 2004-05 ticket book, apparently, which causes the Diary mild regret at having chucked mine in the bin the very minute I got home from the Southend game.