Cod Almighty | Diary
Diary - Wednesday 22 March 2006
22 March 2006
After having begun his 918th season as a professional footballer by announcing his intention to retire at the end of it, GTFC immortal Sir John 'Sir' McDermott has now declared himself ready to play on for a 919th. In one of those stories on BBCi Sport, or BBC Sport Online, or whatever it is, that are a bit longer than a standard interweb football news story but stop short of being a full feature and are still a bit lightweight but are better than most of what passes itself off for journalism on the webnet, Sir Mac of Johndermo recalls a conversation with Tommy Mooney in which the tenacious Town tormentor asked him: "What else would you do on a Saturday afternoon?" The Mariners demigod is now ready to talk terms on a new contract, confirms the piece, and is keen to restore the club to its rightful place atop the Humber hierarchy after watching local rivals prosper in recent seasons. "When [King$ton Communication$ FC] got promoted last season," recalls Sir J McD, "I saw a [King$ton Communication$ FC] fan in our stadium car park who had driven all the way over the Humber Bridge. He got out of his car, celebrated and then got back into his car to drive back." There really isn't very much to do in Hull, is there.
Now, then, I expect you'll be wanting to know all about Town's visit to Rochdale last night, won't you? Righto! Here are the salient points.
- The Bogland pitch was only moderately bad, so the match went ahead!
- Not many people were there to watch it though. Perhaps the rest thought the match might not go ahead. Or that it would be rubbish.
- Town scored a penalty! The scorer was Ciaran Toner.
- Town's lead at half-time is said to have been somewhat fortuitous given that Rochdale dominated the opening 45 minutes.
- Fen Butcher collected his fourth yellow card in two months.
- Left-back Gary Croft was an unused substitute. Town played without a left-back! Unless you count Tom Newey (who collected his 11th yellow card of the season).
- In the third minute of second-half injury time Town conceded a goal direct from a corner, despite having three central defenders on the pitch, one of whom is six feet and five inches and two of whom are six feet and seven inches in height.
- Simon Ramsden scored the first senior goal of his career, at the age of 24, against the club that recently released him because he is only six feet in height.
- Both managers say their teams deserved to win.
And you know who isn't top of the division, don't you? Northampton, Bristol Rovers, Leyton Orient, Boston and Wycombe - all of whom spend more on players than Town and are currently achieving less. An interesting piece in the Nottingham Evening Post finds Rob Ullathorne, an employee of Notts County, bemoaning the paltry wages paid to employees of Notts County - a club that wandered to within a gnat's chuff of extinction as recently as 2003 after spending a year and a half in administration. What is interesting from the point of view of County's fellow basement black and whiters is that their chairman Steve Thompson responds to Ullathorne's Oliver Twist audition by explaining: "The budget we had this season was 15 per cent more than Grimsby Town and if they do not get promoted and keep the same budget we will still be spending more than them next season." Easily as we may tire of Mr Russell Slade's tactics, we might do well to remember how little he has been able to spend on building a squad compared with his rival managers in the fourth division promotion shuffle.
Another transfer window is closing tomorrow, apparently, but there are so many transfer windows these days that the Diary tends simply to assume that one is closing every week unless I hear otherwise.
Ticket news, people. First, Town's 12-pointer at Leyton Orient on Easter Monday has been made all-ticket; second, only a couple of hundred places are likely to remain for this Saturday's visit to Lincoln once those greedy vultures who go to every home game have wolfed down more than their fair share. "Season ticket holders snapped up another 200 tickets on Wednesday and they are selling fast from the ticket office today," reports the Mariners' official website, in an item that went online at about 11:30am today, er, Wednesday.
Today's Diary ends with an email from John Pakey - which is odd, because Wednesday's Diary does exactly the same thing. "Now, if there is anything more uplifting than the sight of a man trying to play snakes and ladders against a soft toy I'd like to see it," writes JP. "Great to see the Meek back in action," he continues by way of explanation. "I have missed him dearly over the last few weeks. It was just the tonic I needed first thing when I got up after recovering from a crappy round trip from Essex to South Yorkshire last night. Well done once again Cod Almighty for making my life a happier place - I salute you! It almost takes the sting off of last night's result. I have only read the match report on the OS, but I will blame Tom Newey for last night's late equaliser just for the hell of it. Until, of course, I'm better educated from the master that is Tony Butcher." Thanks very much, John. The Rochdale report will be brought to you shortly not by Mr Butcher but by Mike Worden; and while the Diary, too, welcomes the return of the Meek, I must point out that if you can't think of anything more uplifting than the sight of a man trying to play snakes and ladders against a soft toy then you have clearly forgotten Steve Evans being chucked out of Blundell Park by the police.