Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Monday 6 August 2007

6 August 2007

Tragic former Mariners loan heroine Martin 'The People's Princess' Paterson has opened his heart to the media to tell of his heartbreak as 13 bored teenagers booed him on his return to Blundell Park at the weekend. The tragic ending for Paterson's fairytale came as he arrived back in Cleethorpes on Saturday with his glamorous new club Scunthorpe United as Town's programme of pre-season friendlies reached its giddy climax. Most well-wishers contented themselves with a wave, but, as the tragic royal visitor exclusively explains in today's Grimsby Telegraph: "There were fans who don't appreciate what I did here." The Iron forward, who failed to register on the scoresheet during the match, lowered his head to a suitably tragic angle as cameramen pursued him afterwards. "For some of them to call me some names I don't really agree with that because I never once stepped on a field with a Grimsby shirt on and given less than 100 per cent," sobbed Paterson, before visiting a hospital and starting a campaign against landmines.

Probably the most satisfying aspect of Town's 1-1 draw against their two-divisions-higher don't-you-know neighbours on Saturday - after comedy Iron defender Andy Butler reprising his own goal antics from last season's ill-fated loan at Blundell Park - was the way Lord Alan Buckley's side contained if not outplayed their illustrious visitors for long periods, particularly after the manager switched to a 4-5-1 system by subbing Jamie 'Not a Full-Back' Clarke into midfield at half time. Whether Buckley will buy himself more tactical flexibility this week with some last-minute additions to his squad remains to be seen - as does the issue of whether the season will begin this Saturday with several hundred nesbits booing the manager for persisting with the same 'negative' formation that brought about a 6-0 win at Boston just six short months ago.