Cod Almighty | Diary

Absence makes Joe Hart grow longer

12 September 2013

"Is watching Grimsby Town value for money?" asks the Grimsby Telegraph today. It's a response to one of those reports about ticket prices which BBC Sport now seems to be issuing roughly every three weeks. And to your original/regular Diary, the trouble here is that the idea of 'value for money' doesn't apply to football.

Why? Well, it implies a transaction whereby you expect to get something back in exchange for your money. Football doesn't work like that. This is not a standard exchange between consumer and supplier. I go to watch the Mariners because my dad first took me in the late 1970s, because it remained a constant throughout a complicated and often painful relationship with my home town, because it's a social ritual and a catch-up with mates as comfortable as an old pair of slippers, because my dad and I finally grew close while going together again in the 1990s before his early death, because it's a day off from family responsibilities, because it is and will always be an indelible strand of my identity, my history and my sense of self. I don't go because I expect a particular standard of football, seating or toilet facility which corresponds with the price I pay.

In other news today, Stuart Watkiss is back at Blundell Park as head of the youth system – a development which seems to have been greeted by Town fans with unanimous approval. And this, ladies and gentlemen, seems to me to be a bit of a funny one.

As far I can remember, Disco Stu's previous spell with the club from 2006 to 2009 seemed to be in a dual role of assistant manager and supporters' scapegoat. Perhaps hesitant about criticising Alan Buckley and then Mike Newell, Town fans habitually responded to defeats by heaping vitriol upon Watkiss instead. The anger only heightened during Watkiss' spell as caretaker manager in 2008. Such was the venom that rained down from the stands (well, OK, from the messageboards) that the then GTFC chairman – a Mr JS Fenty – was forced to say after a home defeat by Barnet: "We don't know who the new manager will be yet, but it won't be Watkiss, so stop moaning." Or words to that effect.

Notwithstanding my fellow supporters' forgetfulness, I'm glad to see Watkiss back as well. His record at Mansfield in bringing through youth players was outstanding, and presumably he learned something during his three years in a similar role with Premier League King$ton Communication$ Tiger$ FC.

But I'd quite like to know whether the outgoing youth manager Adam Smith has been sacked because he wasn't good enough, or left of his own accord. This would tell us something about the way the club works. But I don't suppose the club will tell us that. Hell, it's nearly a week since one of the first team managers was seemingly shoved out of the door, and they still haven't managed more than two sentences about that.

The manager is asking supporters to be patient with Rob Duffy. Despite scoring just seconds into his debut, Duffy is apparently some way short of match fitness, and Town fans won't see the best of him for some time yet. Sorry, I mean Kings Lynn fans. Of course. Sorry.

Still looking for ways to slack off work? Go on then: have a go on our new quiz. Best score so far is 7 out of 10 by Richard Lord. Good luck!