Cod Almighty | Diary

Let's just stay in Gateshead

21 January 2015

Your London Diary here with a severe case of déjà vu. Only last week I was writing this diary waiting for Gateshead to announce whether would be a game that night. At 1pm they held the 137th pitch inspection this week. Game on. For the time being, at least.

Let's be honest: it's a massive pain in the arse living in a world of global warming. I told you last week, but I've got plans for the next few weekends and at the moment, they're like the footballing style of Grimsby Town over the last 10 years, up in the air. I'm not waiting around today for pitch inspections: I've got jam to make. Not wanting to sound like a dictator, or Sepp Blatter, but if you can't organise a game at the third time of trying I think you should have to buy a massive roll of tarpaulin. Vote Ginola!

Various speculation over who we're going to be signing this week. I wasn't that arsed when we signed Palmer, but seeing him last Saturday made me weak at the knees – an exact carbon copy of when I saw Patrick Vieira walk out of Trafford Centre with two large boxes of popcorn going back to his car. Who orders takeaway popcorn? Patrick Vieira, clearly.

So Palmer is apparently good. Another player who apparently is good is Christian Jolley, who we might or might not sign. A quick Google search shows that he scores once in every 4.5 games. Is that good? He's not even looking at the ball in this one. Anyway, I'm sure we're not the only team trying to get him. Maybe we could give the others one of our strikers instead.

That's all you're getting from me. I have a weekend to rearrange and jam doesn't make itself. Have a great Wednesday, I mean that. UTM!